Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday October 30, 2026 - “Halloween Season” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Sixteen weeks of unemployment .. ugh! With the holidays around the corner, this is hitting me hard. I was hoping to have landed a job by now. Whwt's worse is that I anticipate more layoffs in the months to come, optics be damned!

Voted early on Sunday, and sadly we did not get the halloween stickers as promised. Typical of my life.

Had a strong conversation with myself some time around 2am Monday. Perhaps it was the moon beaming down on me activating my third eye, but we had a heart-to-heart. It is true, that I've been a black hole of energy, not taking but consuming everything in my path. I've also been repeating patterns that point to the lack of healing my "father wound." This has shown up as weakness, unreliability, and showing up small in my day-to-day. How am I expected to land a job when I can't even fix myself. And the beat goes on!

Overall, it's been a rather gloomy week. While I physically feel great, my heart aches. My mental energy is low. I am legitimately scared I may never work again. Worse, I'm afraid I expended the chances the universe has blessed me with.

Happy Anniversary to Us ... 20 years of a union that is on life-support. This hurts my heart in a way I never imagined.

What promises did you make and keep?

For the first time in a while, I felt the urge to give in to my vice and employed a code word to keep from doing so. Result was keeping my promise.

Did you choose discipline over comfort?

Yes. Discipline to hit the gym every day. Disciplined to look for work. And disciplined to keep learning new things every day.

Did you finish the task?

The high-priority tasks were finished. The secondary priority tasks were bumped for personal commitments and other matters.

Did you accomplish the goal?

Yes ... to an extent.

MONDAY

Affirmation: EN ANTIO DROMIA - NOT TO AVOID THE FEELING BUT ENGAGE WITH IT

You are not the thought. Instead, you are conscious of the thought and how it passes through you like a storm.

This is the transcendent function. Next time an unwanted thought shows up, do not surrender. Instead notice that it the thought is speaking through you. Obey it.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: HEAL FROM THE FATHER WOUNDS

The patterns you repeat are emblematic of your subconscious prgorammming; the script that was written long before you were aware of your self.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: YOU ARE NOT WEAK .. YOU ARE JUST WIRED POORLY

And the good news is the brain can be re-wired.  It starts with repetition of good, useful habits and removing old bad habits that weren't serving you.

Mom sent me money honoring my anniversary. It bothers me that she keeps insisting on sending me money, but also that she bothers to remember the date. Feels like meddling, but also I may just be reading too much into it given where my head is at lately.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: WHAT YOU REPEAT IS WHAT YOU  BECOME

The life goal: Consistency over intensity ... choosing GOOD daily habits with the purpose of becoming 1% better.

Had a great leg day workout. Spent the better part of the morning food shopping. Then pen testing in the afternoon.

A recruiter sends me a "you are not the right fit for the role" email but then sends me a follow-up response to my reply with questions about my automation experience ... like WTF!! Did you even read my resume (which was what I wrote after my bulleted list). I can't with the state of recruitment these days.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: HEAL THE BOY TO BECOME THE MAN!

After the YT video I heard this morning, it is very possible that I may be an HFD - high-functioning depressive - and the core problems stem from a series of issues manifesting themselves in different aspects of my life: my role as a man, as a provider, as a husband, as a father, a son, and a brother. Failing on all fronts. The video ended with a set of questions to ask and reflect on that I will be doing later on.

SATURDAY/SUNDAY

Affirmation: KEEP GRINDIN’

statement for any relevant fun side projects

What We’re Grateful For

1. Happiness is a full 'fridge .. I will always have gratitude for having food, a bed, and a roof over my head.
2. Grateful for the opportunity to keep learning something new every day and every week.
3. Grateful for YouTube and the quality videos that have been in my feed this past week. So much learning.

What We Loved

1. Love the fall weather, the foliage, and the energy of halloween.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. [API PT] - Paused!
2. [ANDROID PT] - Next module.
3. [WRITE] Medium
4. [WRITE] Substack (maybe)

---

IN PROGRESS

5. [WEB PT] - OpenSea ... the recon is near complete.
6. [Cloud Sec.] Module 3 - Security Lifecycle - https://www.skills.google/course_templates/1300/video/609101
7. [WRITE] "Husb."

---

DONE

8. ...

What We Longed For

1. A good job with pay. AI Red teaming is becoming a real idea. QAE and Pentesting come a close second.

What We Loathed

1. The 2026 job market
2. Not being able to honor my wedding anniversary the right way .. because there's no money. It ends now!!
3. The current president and his administration.
4. Shitty recruiters
5. Being broke!

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday October 23, 2026 - “Hacker's Delight” Ed.

Highlights for the week

New week, same situation - no jobs. Monday is notorious for the job leads, but my will to keep trying is fading fast. As is the money in the bank.

The high from BSidesNYC 0x06 is over, but the connections made were fantastic. I had so much fun and met so many amazing people.

Another week comes to a close and the churn of find job > apply to job > hear nothing is getting old. I've even tried looking for B-tier (waiter) and C-tier (customer service) jobs and I'm not getting a blip. U-test is an absolute failure. As is Bugcrowd. I can't keep living off of credit cards, but the options are bleak.

MONDAY

Affirmation: GENUINE READINESS IS ABOUT TAKING THE CHANCE AT SOMETHING NEW DESPITE YOUR FEELINGS

It is possible to stay in a perpetual state of preparedness that you never take action and achieve your goals. Take the chance.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: NONCE

Hit my goal for the back workout, but felt really out of sorts, even with the good night's sleep

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: FAILURE IS THE JOURNEY INTO THE BELLY OF THE BEAST

Being "swallowed up" is not about failure, its about discovery .. who you are when you come out on the other side.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: HEAL THE FATHER TRAUMA

It was a sleepy day; skipped leg day because of my poor quality of sleep. Made the most of it by starting the job hunt early and moving through the Cloud Sec. modules. Also learned about Android Broadcast receivers.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: A MAN WILL EXHIBIT SIGNS OF LONLINESS WHEN HE RESORTS TO QUESTIONABLE CONTENT FILL THAT VOID

The job market is abysmal.

Had a weird dream where I was building a baseball field, but instead of grass it was beach sand. I was measuring the distance from third base to home.

SATURDAY/SUNDAY

Affirmation: KEEP GRINDIN’

statement for any relevant fun side projects

What We’re Grateful For

1. Always grateful for money in the bank and food in the 'fridge.
2. Grateful that I get to wake up and enjoy another day.

What We Loved

1. Loving my reading glasses and starting on reading a new book.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. [Cloud Sec.] Module 3 - Security Lifecycle - https://www.skills.google/course_templates/1300/video/609101
2. [WEB PT] - Paused!
3. [API PT] - Paused!
4. [WRITE] - SUBSTACK .. need a topic.

---

IN PROGRESS

5. [WRITE] "Husb."

---

DONE

6. [READ] - Intro to Cloud Pen Testing (HTB)
7. [READ] - AWS Pen Testing Guide (HTB)
8. [Cloud Sec.] Module 2 - Cloud Security
9. Attended Meeting - "Understanding Containers & AI Sandboxing"
10. ]ANDROID PT] - HEXMAP - ANDROID BROADCAST RECEIVERS; APP PERMISSIONS
11. [AI WORKSHOP] Learned how to build a multi-agent system. Didn't get very far. It was too complicated and way longer than what the time showed.
12. [WRITE] - Medium blog post - "What if we treated agents like puppies"

What We Longed For

1. A job ... literally any job at this moment.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market. Got 3 rejections this week.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday October 16, 2026 - “BSidesNYC 0x06” Ed.

Highlights for the week

It's that time, once again, for the BSidesNYC 2026 edition. This is going to be an exciting week of AI learning, networking, and volunteering.

What promises did you make and keep?

• Despite waking up at 3:30 Monday, I went to the gym and got a solid workout in.
• Spent the weekend writing. Published a Medium article, a substack article, and added more to the chapter of "husband." .. it's getting good.
• Been laser-focused on inner work, and interactions with my subconscious.

Did you choose discipline over comfort?

• Always!

Did you finish the task?

• Yes. See "...Learned" section

did you accomplish the goal?

• Yes. See "...Learned" section

MONDAY

Affirmation: LISTEN TO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS

IT IS TIME TO ACT.. fidelity to the soul because you are not lost. You are disconnected from who you are.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: AN IGNORED SOUL WILL COMMUNICATE IN IRRATIONAL WAYS

Traumas should not be ignored. And the psyche that goes ignored will show up in self-sabotage, repeated patterns, and other behaviors.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: THE OLD YOU HAS TO GO .. DROP THE DEFENSIVENESS

Extricate the old patterns that have worked against you; burn the old traumas

THURSDAY

Affirmation: CARE FOR YOURSELF FROM WITHIN

The child operates in the shadows of your psyche as an archetype with behaviors of shame, rejection, unvalued, unloved.

The inner parental figure - this is where true healing begins. Be the father you never had to your inner child. Acknowledge him and let him feel "seen."

FRIDAY

Affirmation: HEAL THE BOY TO BECOME THE MAN YOU ALWAYS WERE

Reclaim your masc. energy. Listen to the boy and nurture him. Let him out to play and feel safe, welcomed, valued.

SATURDAY/SUNDAY

Affirmation: KEEP GRINDIN’

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful for the opportunity to have attended the AI Agentic Security Meeting on Friday.
2. Grateful for BSidesNYC 0x066 - Volunteering was a blast. Making new connections was even more fun.
3. Grateful for the family .. another week of great fun, making (and keeping) the peace, and maintaining harmony.
4. Grateful that I still have money in the bank .. at least for another month or so. I really truly need a job.

What We Loved

1. Loved volunteering at BSidesNYC 0x06 - saw some old frieds and I hope the new connections pans out.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. [AI PT] - GENBOUNTY: need to start academy and the tutorials.
2. [WEB PT] - Paused!
3. [API PT] - Paused!
4. ]ANDROID PT] - HEXMAP - ANDROID BROADCAST RECEIVERS: Paused!
5. [WRITE] - Medium blog post
6. [WRITE] - SUBSTACK .. need a topic.

---

IN PROGRESS

7. [Cloud Sec.] Module 2 - Cloud Security - https://www.skills.google/course_templates/1300/video/609074 (next week)

---

DONE

8. [AI WORKSHOP] Learned how to build a multi-agent system. Didn't get very far. It was too complicated and way longer than what the time showed.
9. [READ] - Intro to Cloud Pen Testing (HTB)
10. [READ] - AWS Pen Testing Guide (HTB)

What We Longed For

1. A good job with pay. AI Red teaming is becoming a real idea. QAE and Pentesting come a close second.

What We Loathed

1. The current president and his administration.
2. Being broke!
3. The 2026 job market

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday October 9, 2026 - “The *.Ber Months Are In Effect” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Another week of jobs to apply to, and jobs to get rejected from. Yawn! The process is becoming tiresome. I only have but so much money left in the bank, and there are only so many credit cards I can take on before I reach a limit. It's getting old.

As an aside, the universe spoke to me through YouTube, as I found a great video to listen to regarding identity and the mask I've been wearing. The point of it all is to remove the mask of pretense and become who I always should have been.

I hate that I've been waking up more than once at 3 am. My sleep quality has been in the toilet. Hoping to recouperate this weekend.

Wife insists I open more credit cards and play the "balance transfer" game. While I'd rather avoid being in debt up to the tits with credit cards, she might have a point. The job market is only getting worse.

Nonsequitor: we're not ready for aliens.

Ending the working week with a good bit of happiness. A video I heard on YT had it perfectly stated: SMALL VICTORIES MATTER JUST AS MUCH AS BIG ONES

MONDAY

Affirmation: BECOME WHO YOU ARE AFRAID TO BE

Integrate the broken fragments of your identity and face your shadow. Reclaim what you've suppressed to be who you always were.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: YOU DON'T FIND YOURSELF, YOU FACE YOURSELF

The path to individuation starts with an honest look at who you are, not who you pretend you are.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: SURVIVAL IS NOT THE SAME AS LIVING

One should not just rely on being in a constant state of alert to get by. You should be at peace.

Finally found the Cloud Pen Testing Guide I've been actively searching for all this time. It even points to practice sites and HTB boxes.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: SHED THE MASK OF THE PERSONA YOU USED TO SURVIVE TO BE FULLY YOU

Get rid of the old ways, the old patterns, and old reactions that have failed you. It is holding you back.

Dialog with your shadow, make peace with him, then send him off ... mission accomplished!

Instead of follow-up Friday, I'm making today (Thursday) the day to check in on applications a month old.

Re-scheduled "LEG DAY" to Saturday. Woke up feeling far worse than days past, where I had taken an antihistamine to fight off a bacterial infection and hives. No amount of coffee is going to help. I just need good quality sleep, and not wake up earlier than necessary. Some weird dreams last night, for sure!

FRIDAY

Affirmation: GRATITUDE DETERMINES LATITUDE

House cleaning for the mind, body, and soul.

I will make the following declarations for myself:

• I will choose what to focus on that moves me towards my purpose.
• I will choose discipline over comfort.
• I will not revisit or ruminate over every disappointment, mistake, hurt, or failure.
• I will give my attention to things that strengthen me.
• I will be mindful of what enters my mind because thoughts become patterns. Patterns become habits. Habits become character. And character influences destiny.

SATURDAY/SUNDAY

Affirmation: DON'T LOOK BACK ... KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

Once again the universe spoke to me through YT. The moral of the stories, either through a Korean parable, the story of Lot and his wife, or Orpheus & Euridice is: never look too hard at the past, with fondness or envy, while moving to a new future or you will find yourself punished for it. This can mean anything from repeating old patterns, to never really embracing the future because you are stuck in the past. For my sake, it means never bringing the past into the present with the hopes of a better future, because that almost never works out.

After a good long walk, we did the inner work to celebrate our wins, learn from our losses, and work on earning self-respect. I will not be spoken to with venom or disrespect. I will not allow rudeness and insults into my space. I will not punish myself for the sins of the past. Instead I will learn and keep moving.

What We’re Grateful For

1. A happy home, loving wife, thriving son, and new opportunities in the week to come.
2. YT taught me that, for all my past hurts and failurs, I need to extract the meaning and keep moving.
3. I am happy that I had the difficulty and disappointment. It taught me where I need to improve but it doesn't own me. It doesn't define me.
4. Despite not having an income, I'm happy to have some kind of money in the bank.
5. Even without work, there is food in the 'fridge, I have a bed to sleep on, and I have a roof over my head.

What We Loved

1. Learning new things!
2. Loving my new glasses! Reading so much more.
3. I know this unemployment season is temporary.

What We Learned

• This season is temporary. It will turn around.
• I will not assign permanent judgment to temporary discomfort.
• My purpose will guide me.

The focus this week is all things Cloud Security!!

TO DO

1. [Cloud Sec.] Module 2 - Cloud Security - https://www.skills.google/course_templates/1300/video/609074 (next week)
2. [WEB PT] - Paused!
3. [API PT] - Paused!
4. ]ANDROID PT] - HEXMAP - ANDROID BROADCAST RECEIVERS: Paused!

---

IN PROGRESS

5. [AI PT] - need to start academy and the tutorials.

---

DONE

6. [AI PT] - Genbounty: Finish profile
7. [Cloud Sec.] Module 1 - Intro. to Cloud Computing
8. [WRITE] - Medium blog post
9. [WRITE] - "Husb." .. the war for Earth is about to happen
10. [WRITE] - SUBSTACK .. need a topic.
11. [READ] - Intro to Cloud Pen Testing (HTB)
12. [READ] - AWS Pen Testing Guide (HTB)

What We Longed For

1. A good job, either as AI Red Team, Security Consultant, or QA Engineer.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday October 2, 2026 - “Autumnal Chill” Ed.

Highlights for the week

BSidesNYC 0x06 .. got my ticket, signed up to Volunteer ... LET'S GO!!!

MONDAY

Affirmation: WORK HARD AT BECOMING WHO YOU ALWAYS WERE

Remove the mask and build the habits that lead to success.

Authenticity means never having to apologize for who you are or compromise your integrity to fit in.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: KILL THE IDEALIZED IMAGE OF WHO YOU "SHOULD" BE

Instead, focus on being your best present self as you work to drop all pretense of living up to a standard set by others, and live for the standards you've set for yourself.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: PRACTICE MINDFULNESS

You had a morning issue with something that slipped your mind. Learn from it, but don't dwell on it. You filed an incident report with yourself and recognized where you went wrong. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep moving. Forgive yourself. Apologize. Take ownership. DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN!!

THURSDAY

Affirmation: THE DAY YOU STOP ABANDONING YOURSELF IS THE YOU REALIZE YOU WERE NEVER BROKEN

... you were simply ignoring who you were to fit in.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: REMOVE THE MASK, STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF

You don't fit in because you don't wear the mask of someone trying to fit in. Focus on making things happeng and getting sh** done.

SATURDAY/SUNDAY

Affirmation: KEEP GRINDIN’

Liberty Tiki idea in full effect.

What We’re Grateful For

1. EVERYTHING .. especially getting over my cold
2. Happiness is a full 'fridge

What We Loved

1. Hitting 90% of my goals this week. Considering the priorities of food shopping and paying the bills, it was a phenomenal week.
2. Two weeks til BSidesNYC

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Google Cloud (Coursera) ... still in the backlog.
2. Write - Medium .. need inspiration
3. Write - Substack .. need inspiration

---

IN PROGRESS

4. Write - "Husband" .. Enzo is poisoned; The Queens reunite and prepare for battle
5. Side Project - "Liberty Tiki" -- had an awesome saturday conceptualizing a point-of sale system. Need to think about the business plan.

---

DONE

6. Web PT - Optus
7. AI PT - Wraith CTFs - 96% done .. 1 remains, and it's a tough nut.
8. Android PT - HexMAP: Learned about bound services and how SERVICES in general can be an attack surface. Will need to make time to circle back and get the flags.
9. Network Security - Module 3:Device Hardening .. took the stupid cumulative quiz 5x before passing with a 100%. Kept bombing the "select all that apply" questions.
10. Reading - Network Security
11. Reading - "Zorro" .. got my glasses and finished the book.

What We Longed For

1. A good job in as a pen tester or QA automation engineer.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market and the bs recruiters with their rejection letters, only to see the job reposted a week later.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday September 25, 2026 - “Fall Equinox Season” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Life goals: BUILD THE LIFE THAT REFLECTS YOUR VALUES

Kicked off the week with much needed sleep; recovered from the weekend. Woke up Monday with the slightest cold. No gym today :'(

Goals-wise, need to get back in the rhythm.

Meanwhile, Fall is around the corner, and the vibes are so awesome. The air is cooler, the pumpkin spice is flowin', and the spooky season is getting close. What is gross is companies are peddling Christmas decore, bringing it out right on the heels of the Halloween decore. There used to be a rhythm to this:

• Late August / early September was Fall Seasonal decore
• Mid-September thru October - Halloween Decore
• Early November thru December - Christmas Decore

Now .. it's all stacked together like one big consumer psyop; self-soothing from the bullshit of politics, AI doomerism, financial woes, and a ever-worsening job market. LET'S MAKE THE NEXT WEEK MORE PRODUCTIVE!

MONDAY

Affirmation: SICK DAY 1

Not a lot to report. More jobs to search, few to apply to.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: SICK DAY 2

No gym. No jobs applied to. Not feeling my usual self. Even spanish class got bumped.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: Less SICK DAY 3

Your values have always been there, buried behind a mask of pretense. Excavate them and live your truth ... one daily habit at a time. Stop sacrificing your integrity to fit in. BE AUTHENTIC .. 1000 small corrections over a lifetime.

Keeping the promises to yourself is the key to individuation. STOP COMPROMISING YOUR VALUES TO FIT IN!!

THURSDAY

Affirmation: NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE A LEVEL-10 CRASH-OUT!

Emotional regularity doesn't mean you down play a situation. It simply means you assess the situation and determine the proper amount of energy to devote to it. Not everything deserves a level-10 beserker rage reaction. Sometimes, it's no more than "m'eh."

Fantastic inner dialog proves the inner work is working. The suppressed rage from my childhood is tempered to a weapon I keep sheathed. The shadow is my angry 8yo self that never got the chance to express his rage when being beaten or scolded by his parents. That boy grew to be the teen that never quite fit in, and later the adult that did everything right and still got shafted. We grew up having to do everything the hard way, making tons of mistakes, and never having the proper guidance, role model, or mentor. That calcifies into a person self-reliant and resilience. The motto becomes, "if you're not going to show me the right way, then gtf outta my way. If you're not going to help with a solution, YOU are part of the problem."

FRIDAY

Affirmation: POTENTIAL IS NOT A VIRTUE. IT IS THE THING THAT HOLDS YOU BACK FROM BECOMING WHO YOU WERE MEANT TO BE.

As long as the finish line keeps moving up, you will never become and always be chasing a goal that never comes to fruition. At some point, there has to be an end.

Individuation is a slow and steady grind, not a quick-fix.

When you keep promises to yourself, you build an identity. Break those promises, and you establish the pattern of self-neglect and distrust. You can't be relied on. The shadow keeps a record the mind would rather forget.

You are shaped by the room you no longer live in. SMALL ACTS ACCUMULATE OVER TIME ... DO THE RIGHT THING!!

SATURDAY/SUNDAY

Affirmation: KEEP GRINDIN’

The sum of everything you rejected in order to feel accepted or loved; its been working silently against achievement of your potential in order to protect you.

And discipline is the conscious mind forcing a decision the unconscious mind has decided is dangerous.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Another week of good health (despite being slightly sick on Monday.
2. Always grateful for the family, food, and faith I have.
3. Grateful that I was able to transfer money from Discover to Checking account so I have a reprieve of two more months.

What We Loved

1. This was a low week and spent the time time getting better. Didn't really hit my goals.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Google Cloud (Coursera) ... still in the backlog.
2. Android PT - HexTree
3. AI PT - Wraith CTFs - not done {sick!}
4. Network Security - Module 3:Device Hardening
5. Reading - "Zorro" .. waiting for reading glasses
6. Write - Medium
7. Write - Substack

---

IN PROGRESS

8. Web PT - Optus .. the API is blocked; the Network isn't resolving; Focused on the login
9. Write - "Husband" .. Enzo is poisoned; The Queens reunite and prepare for battle

---

DONE

10. SICK ALL WEEK

What We Longed For

1. Bigggest longing of all is for BSidesNYC '27 .. can't wait
2. A good job as a Security Consultant.
3. Will settle for a job as a QA Engineer, or testing AI

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market
2. The current president and administration. They are literally doing the opposite of "making America great."
3. AI Companies like OpenAI and Anthropic committing felonies and getting away with it.
4. Microsoft not paying NightmareEclipse the bounty they deserve. The consequence is more vulnerabilities found

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday September 18, 2026 - “September Chill” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Had a tremendous weekend of "productive chillaxation." And by that I mean, I had a horrible Friday night's sleep going into saturday and I was pretty much a zombie. I managed to get some writing done, but the scheduled leg workout was postponed. So I spent the afternoon doing coding as well, and watched a movie with the missus. Also made tacos.

Sunday was a different matter. I woke up late, well-rested and full of vigor. After our late breakfast, I managed to finish up the AI project I was working on and added some tests. I also polished up the HTML styling. If I invested more time, I could probably make a theme, but whatever. The tests pass, and the styles successfully apply dynamically when the report is generated.

Mondays are notoriously bad regarding job hunting. Also, been on a SHADOW WORK kick. Finding some gems.

As of 2026, writing is still a viable career, but it requires you to be adaptable, skilled, and persistent. Specialization helps.

Random text

MONDAY

Affirmation: THE PARADOX OF SELF-SABOTAGE: CAUSING THE CHAOS TO PROTECT FROM HARM

Progress and/or peace are sabotaged by unconscious associations the shadow makes to avoid its demise. Because self-actualization and growth, peace and prosperity, even love, mean growth. So the shadow keeps you at a familiar level by doing dumb shit to preserve itself.

Solution: integrate and evolve.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: WE ARE NOT FAILING DUE TO A LACK OF ABILITY. WE ARE FAILING BECAUSE ...

We are stuck because there are internal voices older than ourselves telling us that it is safer not to change. We need not fight this but rather work with it. Reconcile the notion that change is necessary. We deserve it.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: SELF-TRUST BEGINS WITH THE WILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT THAT FAILING IS LEARNING

Say this when doubts creep in: IU may  e wrong bur I trust myself enough to choose.  And if I fail, I will learn. If new information appears,  I will change. But ai will not surrender nor will I quit, or wallow in negative self-talk.

I TRUST MYSELF .. FLAWS AND ALL

THURSDAY

Affirmation: AMBITION, ANGER, EVEN TENDERNESS, ALL LIVE IN THE SHADOW - K. JUNG

The goals is to quit denying or repressing the parts that are unseen, and integrate them into who you were meant to be.

The person you are proud of does not require you to invent something new. It requires you to stop abandoning the old patterns.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: YOU ARE NOT BROKEN, YOU ARE UNCONSCIOUS OF A PATTER THAT ONCE PROTECTED YOU AND NOW LIMITS YOU - K. JUNG

What have been avoiding? Busy .. productive .. it all prevents stillness.

What do you ACTUALLY want, not what you were taught to want?

SATURDAY/SUNDAY

Affirmation: KEEP GRINDIN’

statement for any relevant fun side projects

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful for a full 'fridge and happy home.
2. Grateful that I have some money left in the bank .. next month will be a different story.

What We Loved

1. Had a gloomy end to an otherwise beautiful and productive week.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. AI PT - Wraith CTFs - Spent a small bit of time with the CTFs on the site. So far, I've completed 20 of 23 challenges.
2. Network Security https://skills.yourlearning.ibm.com/activity/ALM-COURSE_3947264 = Module 2
3. Google Cloud (Coursera) ... still in the backlog.
4. Write - Medium
5. Write - Substack
6. Reading - "Zorro" ... started the last section. Fell behind on this.

---

IN PROGRESS

7. Android PT - HexTree ... the next module is TBD.
8. Write - "Husband" .. chipping away at the latest chapter, where Enzo (sixOne's son) is in DMNO4 (fka Daemonia).

---

DONE

9. Read - "AD Exploitation with Metasploit"
Second side project for the weekend, using Gemma 4 and python .. superb test coverage for this bit of work.
10. Canva PT - Report is 100%. Focused on Web and AI; API was blocked, and other links were broken.

What We Longed For

1. A job ... at this point, any thing that brings in a decent income will suffice.

What We Loathed

1. The 2026 Job Market - seeing jobs I was rejected for get reposted is the worst.