Friday, March 20, 2026

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday March 20, 2026 - "Eating Humble P.I.E" Ed

Highlights for the week - Something completely different

This week was a mixed bag of lows and highs. Some wins, some not. Splitting this out by the day and will probably keep to this format.

MONDAY

Affirmation: SET YOUR STANDARD

Something I need to work on is building out a new standard. Be disciplined not just at the gym, but in everything else as well. Work in progress!!

Friend reached out to me about a few things and I learned about Mentorship and the P.I.E model.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: WHERE THE MIND GOES, ENERGY FLOWS

Woke up feeling weird; had a good night's sleep up to a point. 3am and I was in and out of my head. Probably something to do with my conversation on Monday, with my friend.

Also, what is even the point of job hunting when the jobs are either unresponsive, or rejecting.

I feel so broken .. useless .. worthless. I understand this is not who I am going to be, but man is it tough these days keeping positive.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: SET A DAILY INTENTION

Thank you, Napoleon Hill for the wise words. I love waking up and having a single intention to focus on. "To day I will focus on [goal] because it is aligned with who I want to become"

THURSDAY

Affirmation: FOCUS NOT ON WHO YOU WERE, BUT ON WHO YOU WANT TO BECOME!!

Only in this timeline can you be an absolute criminal and keep your job. You show up, you do the right thing, the right way, and still .. not enough when layoffs need to happen, and the investment is in AI.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: THAT WHICH GETS IN THE WAY BECOMES THE WAY

QA Day and test automation was my side quest when I got blocked from Hacking. Resilience .. baby!! When one door closes, another one opens.

Also, acquired the credentials I needed to get unblocked from pen testing the new program. Monday ---> Let's GO!!

TIL - perfect resumes score high on a fraud detection meter, and boring resumes never get looked at. WTF!!

House cleaning = soul cleaning; slept great, feel much lighter; achy from a week's gym effort.

What We’re Grateful For

Grateful to have friends that reach out consistently. I should do better about reciprocating and keeping my network "fresh".
Grateful that God talks to me through YouTube .. been getting my pep talks in the morning while I work out.
Grateful that I get to be up and around, physically and spiritually.

What We Loved

Had a long-time friend check in with me. After a lengthy discussion of all things, the subject of my employment history came up and when asked about it, I felt "embarrassed." Yes, my history sucks. Yes, I am ashamed. And yes, I owe the outcome of what happened to my ineptitude; a failure to eliminate old patterns and replace them with new ones. It felt like I was looking at an embarrassing photo and not liking what I saw. I suppose that's a good thing. It means the old me is dying. Like who was I even?

Was I the kid who never had a proper father or father-figure? YES! All examples of a role models and mentors have disappeared.
Was I the teen who felt called out by his step-mother as a fraud; a phony? YES! Still working on who I really am.
Was I the young adult who was blamed for things outside of his purview, then fired as a result? YES! The wound is healed, but the memory remains.
Was I the dude who fell in love, only set aside (like my father had done)? YES! But maybe I wasn't ready for her, despite how much I wanted her.
Was I the angry, bitter man who would work odd jobs, never hold a steady employ, and not give any attention to females? YES!
Was I the man who finds a good woman and just makes her pay for all his bad choices? YES!
Was I the guy who was an absolute spaz with his child? His household things? YES!
Was I the old person who couldn't hold a steady job, and f**s up the one job he loved? Eventually to become the dipshit broke, miserable, in failing marriage, and a poor example for his son. YES!

Truth is, I need to focus, not on who I was, but on who I want to become ... 1 percent better, every day.

What We Learned

Pentest for Zendesk [Blocked!] I pivoted to a new program: Fireblocks, a crypto wallet app
Finished HackTheBox "Cap" - time ran out and never could finish getting the root flag
AI Training - Claude [Status: DONE!] The best features of Claude (Claude Code) requires a paid subscription.
QA DAY: [Status: BACKLOGGED!] - Updated APPIUM to 3.0.; Used Claude to generate QA Test Strategy and Test Cases for a new website. Test Automation [IN PROGRESS!]
Writing: "Husb..." New Section - Septimal Convergence [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Completed outline. Will schedule this for the weekend.
Mentor/Mentee w. IMANI [Status: PAUSED!] .. still no word on when we'll resume
Learned about P.I.E as it relates to Mentor/Mentee and work performance evaluation. This was eye opening!!

PERFORMANCE - 10% .. are you doing your job well (accomplishments)
INTEGRITY - 30% .. what do people think of you (reputation)
EXPOSURE - 60% .. who knows you and your work (relationships with mgr, sr. mgr, CEO)

The Exposure is about who knows you and what they know about you. Does your boss'boss know your name? Does the leadership team understand your value? To move up, you have to transition from focusing purely on tasks to focusing on relationships and reputation.

... and this right here is where I failed at Secure Ideas. Obviously, the technical work need improvement. But it was those last two reports and how I looked to Kevin that sealed it. And it wasn't just the reports (those didn't help). It was missing the assignment on the blog posts. It was not getting it right with Burp Suite. It was not doing enough to promote my self. The perfect shit PIE.

What We Longed For

A great job, doing cool things, with amazing people, for great pay and benefits!!

What We Loathed

2026 Job Market ... nuff said!

Friday, March 13, 2026

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday March 13, 2026 -- "Countdown to insolvency" Ed.

Highlights for the week

Applied to an amazing job that sounds promising. And a friend submitted the referral, so that's clutch.

Finished a great bug bounty program and, with the help of AI, found a legit bug that deserves attention.

Lowlights for the week

Every day that passes is a day I go more and more broke. 9 months, +300 jobs, not even so much as a blip. Trying to stay positive but holy hell is it getting rough. My sleep has been trash. Workouts have been flat. Mood: absolutely sad. Low-T, but also the reality of the situation.

As of this writing Block laid off 4k people, Amazon is about to layoff 14k people, and Atlassian (the JIRA people) laid off 10% of their workforce. It will only get worse as the economy rebounds from the overhiriing of 2019. While the excuse is "AI Replacing human work," the truth is sandwiched between unnecessary layers, underperforming employees, and the valuation of stock prices dropping as labor costs continue to eat away at profit margins.

What We’re Grateful For

God isn't done with me yet.
Daily pep talks via YouTube have helped me get my mind right. Need to establish a new set of personal standards.
Grateful that I still have food in the fridge and some money in the bank, who knows for how long?!
Grateful that have my health and well being, even though I feel like low-t is the root cause of a lot of issues, especially with sleep, mood, and libido.
Personal pep talk:I AM NOT A FAILURE; I AM BECOMING; I AM

What We Loved

Not a lot to love this week, but the wins are part of what I learned.

What We Learned

TO DO

QA DAY: [Status: BACKLOGGED!] - Updated APPIUM to 3.0.
AI Training - Claude [Status: TO DO]
New Pentest: BitPanda [Status: TO DO]
Writing: "Husb..." New Section - Septimal Convergence [Status: TODO]
Mentor/Mentee w. IMANI [Status: PAUSED!] .. no word on when we'll resume
Mentor/Mentee w. LUNA [Status: ON HOLD!] .. another one, radio silent
Mentor/Mentee w. SHREE [Status: DONE!] .. radio silent

IN PROGRESS

Tried my luck at CTF - looking through a windows machine. Blocked due to inability to load software that would help complete.

DONE

Pen Test - TheFork[Status: DONE] Report is 100%; Completed theFork Pen Test Report. Mimic'd the SI Report QA process.
Writing: "Husb..." Chapter "War Cry" [Status: DONE]
Instead of QA Day, spent the afternoon migrating old Security tests written in python to the new repo. Keeping it active until the API are moved over.

What We Longed For

As always, a great job doing cool things with amazing people, for great pay.

What We Loathed

92,000 jobs lost since the start of 2026.
Having to rely on my child's income to get through the following months.
Just now hearing back from a job I applied in January, after following up with them after a few weeks. WTF to that!!
Having applied to a job from a job board, only to find out that the job is not hiring and that the job lead was old.
Finding I have to re-apply for SNAP BENEFITS/CASH ASSISTANCE ... again!!!@#$%

Saturday, March 7, 2026

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday March 6, 2026 - "Blood Moon" Ed.

Highlights for the week

This week has been a mixed bag of lows and highs. The low being zero jobs responded to and money running out. The highs being several wins to celebrate!

The Blood Moon happened March 3rd. No doubt, a harbringer of bad things. A war was started in IRAN, more Epstein files keep getting leaked, and several tech companies dumped more employees. One such company - Block - cut 4k employees. Oracle, is set to cut several more. Overall, the economy lost 96,000 jobs and there doesn't seem to be signs of hiring.

NINE MONTHS! since my last paycheck. And there doesn't seem to be signs of improvement. FML! What is even the point anymore?! Monday, I just perused 50+ job descriptions, all very specific to a niche set of skills. None that I have, nor any that I may actively pursue.

What We’re Grateful For

God isn't through with me yet! I have the energy to wake up, lift, and keep learning.
This week, got a few pep talks in my ear to help with the sadness. Definitely anxiety! Could also be low-T!!
Grateful that my son has income to help keep us afloat.

What We Loved - BIG WINS!!

Used LOVEABLE to build a quick app that displays the weather forcast on Caribbean Islands
Pen Testing on a client and I managed to find a particular GraphQL implementation flaw at a couple of file upload features of the app. Submitted for review. The feedback I got was that it was "INFORMATIONAL." I submitted a RAR. It is definitely higher than a P5.
As always, grateful for food, family, and faith. We will get through this!!

What We Learned

AI Security [Status: Done!] - Finished the modules; need to practice. Leveraged IBM Granite to help test vulnerabilities in GraphQL
AI Training [Status: Done!] - Built an MCP that pulls in weather data; built an app with Loveable.
New Pen Test: TheFork [Status: IN PROGRESS!] - Nearly complete with the B2C section. Need to test some other aspects.
Writing: Chapter "War Cry" [Status: IN PROGRESS!] The Convergence is happening!
QA DAY: [Status: BACKLOGGED!] - Updated APPIUM to 3.0. The app loads in Appium Inspector. Will revisit where my scripts lie with python.
Mentor/Mentee w. IMANI [Status: PAUSED!] - Postponed until .. who knows?

What We Longed For

As always, a job -- trying to keep up the happy vibes when the money is running out!!

What We Loathed

The 2026 JOB MARKET - to date, there doesn't seem to be any signs of hiring, but I'm trying to stay optimisitic.
On a silghtly relevent note, borrowing from my son to ensure we have the rent paid is the lowest point. I've hit some low points, but this one takes the cake. All the affirmations in the world can't help me from this. I am working on self-improvement, but there is a debt to pay and the sins of all my past mistakes are long overdue.FML!!
Got into a bit of a "tiff" with the wife. The past week's shouting match segued to grievances she's been holding onto for quite some time. I would fight back, but given the current economic situation I'm facing, I can't say she's wrong. Also, the idea that I need to know my place is laughable. As if she were the "alpha" when she spends literally 8 hours a day on god-knows-what. It certainly isn't education and trying to move this family out from the hell we're in. And heaven forbid I should stand up for myself. No one yells at me, mistakes or otherwise. She tolerates me!! Feeling is mutual, but I keep that close to the chest. Haven't been happy for quite some time. Sex is a relic. Truly a bad state of things. And it's all on me. YOUR FORGET YOUR PLACE, she said after declaring I should apologize for yelling at her. As if!! She yelled, I yelled back.

Sunday, March 1, 2026

Security Testing Journal Entry | February AAR

Below is a write up of goals & intentions that were set and either met or not met & why

FOCUS ON WHAT IS MOVING YOU FORWARD! STAY FOCUSED! ELIMINATE DISTRACTIONS!

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday February 27, 2026 - "And Now For Something Completely Different" Ed.

Highlights for the week

These are some interesting times we're living in.

This week was no exception. It started with a classic snow storm that occupied most of my Monday. Then there was a media frenzy on files from a child predator about to be released. And it ended with the US & Israel launching a missle strike against Iran. WILD!!!

On a personal front, it was my son's birthday and we celebrated as best we could, with what money allows. We planned to take him out on vacation when $$ gets right. Universal Hollywood - Epic Universe is the way.

Also regarding my son, we nearly avoided a potential scam. He had applied to a job that looked promising, only for it to be a scam. They wanted him to purchase equipment prior to starting and that it would be re-imbursed later. He hadn't spoken to a single individual. Everything was done through chat; tons of red flags. When I looked them up, the person whom he was talking to didn't even exist on Linked In. Worse still, another job description let it be known that at no point were interviews to be conducted via chat, text messages, or whatever. And furthermore, any correspondence was only to come their explicit domain. Cut ties with them and switched banking information to a new account.

Blood moon is happening on March 3rd which symbolizes a bad omen.

What We’re Grateful For

Grateful for having the wisdom and guidance in helping my son avert a scam.
Grateful for being healthy and in good spirits for sledding, working out, and staying mentally sharp.
I firmly believe God speaks to me through YouTube. Been listening to a lot of motivational videos and working on getting mentally and spiritually right.>

What We Loved

I have a new niece. Addison - born 2/21/26 at 9:57pm. So happy for my lil step-bro!

What We Learned

Need to work on being more reliable. Got a simple chore and managed to muck that up. I wanted to save money but bought the wrong thing and caused some friction with the wife. Feeling somewhat stupid, but also frustrated. DO BETTER!!
Learned about "Active Directory Attack" (again!) .. new approach. There are HTB boxes worth checking out for practice.
AI stuff + Red Teaming AI - OWASP LLM Top 10 (meeting)
Continued learnings with LLM-SEC, which covers OWASP Top 10 for LLMs
Portswigger + AI ... will need to postpone to next week. It has been a bad week for personal projects.
"Husb" writing (did i?) .. still paused.
QA Day Appium + Python.. will I ever get around to this?
"TheFork" - PT ... moved to next week.
Spanish Lesson-3 for the child.

What We Longed For

As always, a good job doing cool things with AI + Automation; perhaps AI Red teaming or Pen Testing.
Being a Mandian Consultant is something I plan to work on. Their stuff is really good. Them, or google zero.

What We Loathed

Scammers! It's bad enough to be desperate for a job and a paycheck. It's another thing to fall victim to scammers preying on the weak. They need to die!!
The 47th President of the United States felt it was within his purview to circumvent the Legislative branch of government and,in concordance with another foreign government, launched a missle strike against an enemy of the state. The pre-cursor was the perception of "imminent threat to National Security." With the release of some damaging files pertaining to a pedophile and child sex trafficking info peddler, the majority of Americans see this act for what it is: a distraction.
The constant forward progress of AI is disrupting the job market. Another 4,000 employees were summarily dismissed due to AI restructuring. The result was a 24% bump in the stock price. The rich made more money as good hard-working people were shown the door. Absolutely disgusting!!
Still hating the 2026 Job Market. I WILL LAND A JOB!!

Saturday, February 21, 2026

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday Februrary 20, 2026 - "Chinese Year of the Horse" Ed.

Highlights for the week

Another week has come and gone. The gray skies of the past month have really taken a toll on my state of mind. Coupled with the lack of employment, money all but gone, and not being able to make any inroads on improving the situation is getting to me. I wanted to make the most of Valentine's and failed miserably.

My son's birthday is around the corner and I just don't know where the money is going to come from. We owe it to him to make the most of the moment. We don't have the funds for that trip to Universal in Orlando. That spur-of-the-moment cruise was out of the question. Now I have to rely on his income to pay next month's bills.

UNACCEPTABLE!!

I know for things to change, I have to change. This whole thing has got to get better. I'm working on me .. but this is a karmic joke. The question that keeps nagging me is what is my purpose?! I've literally failed at most things that felt right. At 50, what's next. What is my "why!"

And more people are getting laid off for "AI research and development/investment." The truth is much worse.
Tech was saturated with talent, most of whom are mid-level.
Underperformers are getting the ax.
Overachievers are expensive, and they're getting the ax.
New hires never get their chance.
Employment opportunities are getting offshored.

What is even the point anymore. The mantra now is for employees to deliver value!! .. but for whom?

In other news, It is the year of the FIRE HORSE (February 17, 2026, to February 5, 2027)
In Chinese Culture, the Horse symbolizes strength, freedom, and passion. It represents a year full of energy and vitality, encouraging individuals to pursue their dreams and embrace challenges. (src. https://www.eastchinatrip.com/chinese-culture/chinese-zodiac/year-of-the-horse/) It is perfect that this should occur on my son's birthday as he does tend to be optimistic and action-oriented. The goal: pursue personal ambitions, and embark on new ventures.

Also, the lunar eclipse happening happening March 3rd

What We’re Grateful For

It's all about VALUE .. what is your value to the company, to your family, to yourself.

Grateful to have another day that I get to get up and pursue my passions .. whatever they may be.
Grateful to have a warm home, food, clothing, and all the things that come with that.
Grateful that God isn't through with me yet!

What We Loved

Attended the NYITS Job Fair. Overall, it was underwhelming. I did manage to secure 2 possible leads, one concerning AI .. not holding my breath.

What We Learned

Optimized my javascript "selector" script .. runs clean, no dupes, pulls the elements from the page, and what-not
New pen test is going somewhat ok. Been a bit mopey and not feeling this engagement.
Reading "Zorro" finally.
Writing .. grr .. been on hiatus with that.
LLM Security - finally started, but the models to get the flag aren't working. Will reach out to the developer if it continues.

What We Longed For

At this point, anything with an income and benefits.
I have expanded my search to include customer service and food service jobs. Pen Testing is still the dream, with QA roles being the consolation.
Mentorship cadence. At the moment, Mentees have all gone quiet. Shame!!

What We Loathed

In its entirety, the Job Market is a joke. Old Jobs I've applied to are reemerging.
New jobs feel hollow, or looking for a specific unicorn.
Zero interactions to applications sent. A few rejections, though!! Odds are that 99% of all applicants will not succeed.
re-applied to Code & Theory. Downgraded title, lesser pay, but you know times are bad when this is what I'm resorting to. Worse, I'm applying to food service places too. FML!!
Sleep has been trash. Probably the subconscious worry I've buried deep taking hold on my physical wellbeing.

Friday, February 13, 2026

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday February 13, 2026 - "Positive Manifestations" Ed.

Highlights for the week

A good question worth answering: Are you doing the hard things?

The answer is a resounding "yes!" I have been challenging myself with doing new things. The cherry on top was leveraging AI to write a script that helped me with an automation task. The end result was a customizable script that parses the page for DOM elements to streamline the process of mapping locators as part of a typescript page-object-model (POM).

For my Security Consultant / Pentesting career goals, it's time to pause > reassess > recalibrate. Simplify what is working. Re-align tasks that move you forward. Focus on better goals. So why am I doing what I'm doing and why:

I'm working on BBH with BugCrowd to keep my skills sharpened. I'm approaching sites like a Pen Test, going through the entire process to educate myself on where I failed at SI.
I'm working on the occassional U-Test project to keep my QA skills tip-top. Resume implies I'm too long out of work. Consistency proves otherwise.
I'm working on AI side projects to learn, do, and grow.
I'm working on automation side projects for the same reason: learn, do, grow.
I'm writing when I have time because I love it. It improves my communication and puts my talents to use. I may want to finish the book and get published.
I'm working out because it improves my mental well being along with my physical.
I'm doing the work to rebuild myself esteem, improve the self-talk, and rebuild trust with myself. Get 1% better every ... single ... day!

What We’re Grateful For

Glad that I get to wake up and live to see another day.
Grateful for the comforts of a warm bed given the super-cold week.
Happy to have another week full of good learnings.

What We Learned

[QA Day] Used IBM Granite 4.0 to write a JS script that parses the page for DOM elements for use in building out automation page-objects.
New Pen Test - Quarter of the way through my new pen test, TheFork - a restaurant booking app.
Mentorship w. Imani - who knows what is happening. Her work and school schedule have changed impacting our meetings.
Got back to writing "Husb." - convergence is happening.
Portswigger - need to find a new module.
AI day - need to make time; Found a cool AI Pen Testing Lab.
Shared blog post on linked .. getting minimal to no interactions.

What We Longed For

7 MONTHS ... NO JOB. It's so bad!!

What We Loathed

2026 Job Market!!