Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday July 10, 2026 - “GØØALs!!” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Officially 13 months since my untimely departure. The job market has gotten progressively worse. Having swallowed my pride, I had to borrow money from my son and managed to get the rent paid. The other solution that has presented itself is to take out yet another credit card and attempt to transfer the balances from the one to the other. The debt I was meticulously resolving is back. I'm beginning to wonder of my career is officially over.

As a side note, I'm piecing together an idea for a personal business. We'll see how it goes with this one person that reached out on reddit and plans to revisit the request on 7/17. Not holding my breath.

MONDAY

Affirmation: COLLAPSE IS THE ONLY WAY THE OLD CAN MAKE WAY FOR THE NEW

The ancient chinese philosophy holds true, for my personal and professional life. At 51, it is time to rebuild myself and what I want for the rest of my days. QA was never the goal, but Cybersecurity is super-saturated. Writing has always been by strength, despite what the CEO of SI said. I will plan to make more time for it.

I am surrendering my will to the universe. Up to this point, it stands to reason that I've been forcing what was never meant to be. Like what happened with Andrea - the tighter I tried to hold on to that feeling, the worse it became for me. No more! I'm not giving up, but I'm not forcing the matter anymore. I'm just going to accept what I am given and make the most of it.

On the homefront, the AC unit still remains not fixed. The Super took a look but did not add much to what was already known. The gym has a leak and I wish I hadn't attempted to dry the leaking water. It caused a tiny chip in the paint. That being said, the area is warped and needs to be fixed anyway.

Ended a productive day getting everything I needed to get done DONE. Finished a Substack article, "Husb" outline, Module 4 & 5, and the jobs.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: LIFE PRESENTS ITSELF WHEN YOU STOP TRYING TO DRAG THE FUTURE INTO THE PRESENT BEFORE IT IS READY - A Watts

Second night in a row that sleep has been a drag. I go to bed fine, but I don't feel rested when I wake up. Thinking it was because of my computer use. Needed to get things done! Tonight, I will NOT do anything. I will go to bed at a proper time and sleep like a king.

Kicked off the new workout. I like the structure of it so far.

Don't plan to get much done today. I got scheduled to go to the dentist, which cuts into the middle portion of my day. Plan to spend 2hrs of solid grammar education with son tomorrow. (2pm) ... [UPDATE] Dental appointment moved to 11:30 Wednesday due to a building collapsing at 40th Street 3rd Avenue on the East side.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: TOLD THE WORLD ... LOOSEN YOUR GRIP

Stop forcing the issue. Purpose will find you.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: IT IS NEVER AS BAD AS YOU THINK IT IS .. SOMEONE ELSE ALWAYS HAS IT WORSE!

Another day where jobs were scarce, opportunities were scant, and nothing got done. While I did finish the grammar lessons with my son, the Pen Test has fallen by the wayside to the point I've completely lost momentum to keep going. I'm ready to start a new one a.s.a.p. And with the amounts of complaints I've seen in the reddit sub, the motivation to keep going is waning. AI is where I plan to keep going. Cloud is a close second.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: THE UNIVERSE RESPONDS ACCORDINGLY

So .. yeah! I hijacked my sleep last night, for my viewing of adult content. I'm partially disappointed in myself for breaking old promises, but I'm also giving myself the allowance; a pass. The stress of 13 months unemployed, money running out, an empty refrigerator, and everything else scraping by is tiresome. I am not proud of my behavior, nor am I happy that I fell short of my standards. I will work to do better, and be better. And to hold the line. It's just too much at the moment!

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful for a comfy bed .. but I need to get a good night's rest.
2. Grateful that I have my health, faculties, and limbs. Others have it far worse.
3. Grateful to have heard the universe talking and reminding me to hold the line; stay disciplined; stay focused.

What We Loved

1. Cookie loaf .. dough made by me, baked by Melissa! So yummy!

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Cloud Pen Testing - Google Cloud [Status: TO DO!]
2. Azure [Status: TO DO!] Leaving this here as a reminder.
3. READ Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: TO DO!]

---

IN PROGRESS

4. INNER WORK [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Continued self-reflection
5. "Husb." [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Next chapter .. tbd!
6. Web App PT - [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Etsy has been on pause for some time. [UPDATE!] Learned that burp is getting blocked. Will try over the weekend before pivoting to API.
7. Android PT - HexTree Android Bindermodule [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Need to bump this to Thursday.

---

DONE

8. AI Pen Test - Module No. 6 [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Started this and read it through to the end. I had fun solving the challenge. May need to re-read.
9. AI Pen Test - Module No. 5 [Status: DONE!] A lot of reading. A lot to remember.
10. AI Pen Test - Module No. 4 [Status: DONE!] Completely re-read it and solved the practice challenge in one try.
11. QA DAY - "SevereQA" business idea [Status: DONE!] Have all the proper documentation set.
12. Stubstack Article No. 2 [Status: Done!]
13. Playwright CLI - C# [Status: DONE!]

What We Longed For

1. A good paying job in tech. The outlook is getting worse by the moment.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market and everything about the layoffs being blamed by AI when really it was about overhiring, market right-sizing, and cost-cutting measures.
2. Outsourcing / Offshoring of jobs. FFS when will this stop!! Probably when we have enough robots to get the job done at minimal cost.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday July 02, 2026 - “United States is 250 Years Old ... yippee!!” Ed.

Highlights for the week

The theme of this week: work on your goals, stay disciplined, keep your promises, and honor your values .. this will lead to character and integrity Random text

MONDAY

Affirmation: GET AWAY TO THE ROCKAWAYS

Nothing got done as we (family and I) spent the entire day out at Far Rockaway. On the minus - everything is behind. On the plus - got to see a whale.

REBUILD YOUR LIFE!! Don't wish it were easy, wish you were better

TUESDAY

Affirmation: EVERY SUNRISE IS A NEW OPPORTUNITY FOR CHANGE

Wake up! WAKE UP TO YOUR PURPOSE! Decide to start new. New choices. New ideas. New goals.

Keep your promises to yourself. No slipping, even when temptation is the itch you need to scratch. Growth is a choice. Rebuild your mindset!! 

You are not trapped by yesterday's mistakes. Take reaponsibility and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: ACT AS IF NOTHING MATTERS ... BECAUSE IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS ... IT DOESN'T - A. Watts

It is we who put up barriers to being, assigning purpose to everything; being too strict instead if playing.

wu wei is the art of grasping more by relaxing. The tighter you close your fist, the less you hold. Only by letting go will you be able attain more.

The paradox of keeping calm is that the less you chase purpose, the easier it will find you. Don't cling to love, instead let it be on its own.

Stop clutching to perfection .. it leads to frustration.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: WHEN WE LET GO OF TRYING TO MATTER THEN WILL WE BEGIN TO SHINE - A. WATTS

The whole point of the music of life is not the prefection of the notes, but enjoyment of the melody.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: NEW MONTH, NEW YOU

The moment you take ownership of who you are and who you want to become, releasing the tight grip on identity leads to greater potential. Like an archer who draws the bow back. When you let go of all your old issues and negative self-talk, then and only then can you truly find yourself propelled forward.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful that my son is thriving in his YouTube channel. It helped pay for the rent.
2. Grateful that I get to wake up and get after it.
3. Grateful for every day. Each is a blessing.

What We Loved

1. This week was a weird week full of odd energy.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Cloud Pen Testing - Google Cloud [Status: TO DO!] The environment build-out was not possible. Found a cool course to start.
2. Azure [Status: TO DO!] Leaving this here as a reminder.
3. AI Pen Test - Module No. 5 [Status: TO DO!] Need to re-read Module No. 4
4. QA DAY - "SevereQA" business idea [Status: TO DO!] Leaving this here as another reminder.
5. READ Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: TO DO!] I bumped this for something AI-related.
6. Stubstack Article No. 3 [Status: TO DO!] Will get to this over the weekend.
7. "Husb." [Status: TO DO!] Next chapter .. tbd!

---

IN PROGRESS

8. INNER WORK [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Continued self-reflection
9. Web App PT - [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Not a lot done this week. Recon is completed. Finished mapping the app. I did find 3 ports opened, but retesting found them closed.
10. Android PT - HexTree Android Bindermodule [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Had zero time to get this done. Will probably move this to the weekend.

---

DONE

11. Playwright CLI - C# [Status: DONE!] Not planning to add more, unless I make time to keep building this out. I just wanted to learn the syntax.

What We Longed For

1. A great job at Mandiant (google) doing the thing. Otherwise, I'm still waiting to find my passion! [UPDATE] Not selected for the job .. which is what I came to expect. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I applied to TrustedSec, another solid fit.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market and the fact we have a failed leader that won't fix it.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday June 26, 2026 - “Fathers & Sons” Ed.

Highlights for the week

A great week kicked off by celebrating father's day and calling the old man. I've made peace with the past. The daily inner work is working!! We did have a great conversation about random things and it was good to hear he's doing well. Holding no grudges is so freeing.

Having broken the generational curse is the single greatest accomplishment of my life. I see that manifested in my relationship with my son. He's doing well, smart as f**, and is not burdened with the traumas I have had to deal with. Our relationship is tight, and he knows he can come to me whenever he wants. Another New Year's resolution accomplished.

MONDAY

Affirmation: REFUSE TO ACCEPT WEAK THINKING AND WEAK HABITS - J. Rohn

Your future is determined by what you consistently do. And what you do is determined by the mind. Be focused, think firmly, act consistently and become better.

The mind is powerful and what you allow to remain becomes habit and habit becomes character.

The day came and went, the priority items were addressed, but I still haven't started my Pen Test. On to Tuesday.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: I WILL NOT QUIT UNTIL I AM LIVING THE LIFE I DREAM OF

A tremendous daily affirmation. 100% this ... do not let your inner bitch convince you can't. You can and you will.

I woke up feeling a bit out-of-sorts ... somewhat melancholic. Movement in the gym helped. Job search is still a drag. And I finally got around to pen testing.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: THE UNIVERSE RESPONDS TO THE PERSON THAT REFUSES TO BE DENIED!

Another great quote from Les Brown. I'm sensing a theme regarding the need to shrug off malaise and keep grinding. Make that dream happen:

• write that book
• start that business
• get that job
• travel

THURSDAY

Affirmation: N/A

A solid "Leg Day" at the gym. Made good progress on the pen test. Skipped learning AI and Android for the moment. Instead, I picked up a UTest Test cycle which was super-easy.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: N/A

House-cleaning .. so not a lot got done from a programming, testing, writing, reading perspective.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful that my father is doing well and that I don't hate him. The conversation was cool.
2. Grateful that I get to wake up, workout, and live in my moment.
3. Grateful that I am healing internally. The inner self-reflection is helping a lot. I've made peace with my past and consoled the boy that felt bad for failing.
4. Grateful that I have a wonderful wife and amazing son. Getting to reflect on my past deeds and apologizing to her for my wrongs was a huge step in maturity. We're so good together!!

What We Loved

1. This week was pretty uneventful, so not a lot to say that WOW'd me.
2. Loved working through Spanish lessons with my son.
3. Loved getting past my hangups and calling the father.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Cloud Pen Testing - Google Cloud [Status: TO DO!] Maybe I will build out the environment as a first step.
2. Azure [Status: TO DO!] Leaving this here as a reminder.
3. QA DAY - "SevereQA" business idea [Status: TO DO!] Leaving this here as another reminder.
4. READ Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: TO DO!] I bumped this for something AI-related.

---

IN PROGRESS

5. INNER WORK [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Continued self-reflection and overcoming my inner sloth. Slipped a bit in terms of the adult content .. no bueno!
6. Playwright CLI - C# [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Got a lot done for unit tests for distinct components. I may just cap it here, in favor of other projects of higher value.
7. Android PT - HexTree  Android Bindermodule [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Didn't have time to get started on this, but leaving it as in Progress for now.
8. Web App PT - [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Finally got around to this and making great progress. The site is huuuuge!!

---

DONE

9. Substack Article 2 [Status: DONE!]

What We Longed For

1. A consulting job in security. Strongly considering AI red teaming.

What We Loathed

1. The 2026 Job Market and everything about it.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday June 19, 2026 - “Birthday Week” Ed.

Highlights for the week

POWER TO THE GEMINIS

Another week come and gone. No real progress on the job hunt. I want to believe in the power of positive thinking, but there's also reality. Is this even working?!

Truth is, to manifest success I need to believe in what I want .. thoughts become reality! positive thinking leads to positive actions which creates positive results.

The biggest highlight of the week is the celebration (on 6/18) of the New York Knicks historic win over the San Antonio Spurs in Game 5 of the 2026 NBA Championship.

As I reflect on the past 25 years, I've been noticing a key pattern I can't seem to distance myself from. A pattern where, no matter how hard I try to climb up, I'm always getting pushed down. The evidence is as follows:

• Life - father wasn't much of a father, role model, or anything. He preferred the avenue of corporal punishment over proper instruction when it came to literally everything. My only other role model died early. And later in life, when I sought out mentors to help with my career aspirations, they failed me too.
• Sports - Tried out for football and baseball in HS when I had no business being there. Was on track for 2 seasons but barely did well in shot & discus (no coaches). Fencing in college was awesome!
• Dating - Failed at that in HS and College. Had a terrible prom experience.
• School - Did ok in HS, but failed the classes I needed for College. Failed the Bio/Pre-Med program. Barely got above 3.0 in English .. zero mentorship to guide me.
• Social - didn't really fit in in HS. Got rejected a bunch for fraternities in College. Joined a few clubs and did well there. Otherwise, struggled to fit in.
• Plan-A applied to the Air Force knowing this was going to be my life goal ... got rejected by the Staff Sergeant for health reasons.
• Work - barely able to land a job while in College due to schedule.
• Plan-B, C, D ...:
• When I did, held on to that bad boy for years. It was my everything after I graduated. Then I got fired for something that wasn't my fault and drifted for the many years that followed.
• Lingered in food service until I was in my 30s. Tried some bs corporate gig as a documentation clerk but that didn't work either. I was an idiot then.
• Got my A+ thinking this was going to be the start of my tech career .. didn't get very far with it. Had no money to pursue more.
• Tried desktop publishing and didn't get far with that either. I needed Quark - a software program that was way too expensive.
• Eventually landed a course in Devry, took out a plethora of loans, and so began my second career track in IT. Overall, the school did very little to prepare me for a career in Security, or web development for that matter. Once again, I was out in the workforce unprepared, in debt, and no viable experience to work with.
• Tried freelancing as a web developer, and I had some clients. Learned a lot about managing the project from start to finish. Sadly, my web dev skills left a lot to be desired.
• Tried some SEO job ... didn't take it serious and got shown the door.
• Tried a survey developer company that wanted me to also be their internal IT guy for all things. That didn't work out either.
• Landed a QA role with zero experience. Learned everything I could on the job, zero guidance from others. Things were going well until a new manager and a restructure. Got the boot. Landed a better job at a quaint start up and became the "voice of experience" in QA. That was an awesome four years. Then priorities shifted and because I had no viable automation experience, got shown the door. After 4 months, I landed a role at a digital agency and that was awesome until it wasn't. A loss of a major client lead to mass job cuts and I was one of them. Another few months out of work and I landed a great gig that didn't last long (quit a toxic manager). A few months after that, landed a great job that lasted a couple of years until several rounds of layoffs found me on the unemployment line once again. Several months and another job, and it was the best paying gig I had until a new CTO joined and eventually cleaned house. Our entire team was disbanded. And so was the beginning of the end for QA for me.
• Two years of unemployment and hardcore focus on pen testing (self-taught) and I found a mentor that brought me to a great job that lasted all of 9 months. This one hurt the most!!

To quote Jim Rohn, WHAT CHALLENGES YOU, CHANGES YOU -- a great mantra to begin the next phase of my life. I want the back-half to matter.

MONDAY

Affirmation: THE LIFE YOU WANT IS BASED ON THE ACTIONS YOU TAKE TODAY

Imagine the life you want. What does good look like? What will it take to get you there? What actions are you tak8ng to make that happen?

TUESDAY

Affirmation: ACTION FIRST .. THEN EXPERIENCE .. FINALLY CONFIDENCE

Confidence grows because of action. Small daily habits done consistently over time produce tangiable results.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: A DREAM WITHOUT ACTION DIES

Words to live by - Success is not something you wish for, its something you work for.

Who do you want to be? Success begins in the mind so decide to think positive thoughts.

Setbacks are wisdom; feedback, not failure.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: BELIEVE IN WHAT IS POSSIBLE

If the NY Knicks have shown, it is that grit and tenacity are the keys to victory. In several games they were behind by double-digit points, and yet somehow they managed to pull it off. In Game 5, it looked like they might lose. Thanks to the heroics of Jalen Brunson and the rest of the squad, they pulled off the victory. He alone scored an individual record-breaking 45 points while the rest of the team had scored a combined 49 points.

On a personal projects side, I've not gotten much done. See the breakdown below.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: CELEBRATE EVEN THE SMALLEST OF WINS!

The world, the economy, and every other personal circumstance is against you. Celebrate when you get a moment of victory, even in the smallest of things. This will help you keep going when everything feels like it is not working.

What We’re Grateful For

1. I've highlighted every day what I'm grateful for, so I will encapsulate my gratitude by saying I am grateful for everything: getting the chance to celebrate another birthday; achieving my fitness goals; advancing in my learning; and getting to wake up in a loving home with a wonderful family

What We Loved

1. Going to the DAILY SHOW on my birthday. That was a pleasant surprise.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Cloud Pen Testing - Google Cloud [Status: TO DO!] | Azure [Status: TO DO!]
2. AI/LLM Pen Testing - Wraith.sh [Status: TO DO!] Module-4
3. INNER WORK [Status: TO DO!!] Rollover from last week. I keep sleeping on this.
4. QA DAY - "SevereQA" business idea [Status: TO DO!!] Writing up the business plan and how to use agents.
5. Substack 2nd Article [Status: TO DO!] Have outline, need to get typing.
6. Web App PT - Started on Etsy [Status: TO DO!] No progress this week.
7. Android PT - HexTree [Status: TO DO!] Android Bindermodule .. No progress this week.

---

IN PROGRESS

8. QA DAY - Playwright CLI + C-Sharp [Status: In Progress!] Set up the environment, have a unit test in place. Need to build this out more.
9. Writing - "Husb" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] .. No progress this week. Saving it for the weekend. So far, Lilith is in the depths of hell.
10. READ Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] No progress this week.

---

DONE

11. AI/LLM Pen Testing - Wraith.sh [Status: DONE!] Module-2: Indirect Prompt Injection
12. AI/LLM Pen Testing - Wraith.sh [Status: DONE!] Module-3: System Prompt Injection
13. Web App PT - Pinterest [Status: BLOCKED!] Still no resolution.

What We Longed For

1. As always a consulting job, making good money, doing great work, surrounded by smart but chill people I can learn from.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 .. not just the job market, but literally everything: the economy, our president, our congress, our financial institutions, and the tech sector. It's all one big mess and getting worse by the week.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday June 12, 2026 - “Chillin' & Grillin' ” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Another week has come and gone and not a lot of progress made, for reasons that have more to do with conflicting priorities than actual laziness. Simply put, personal errands and a trip to the doctor's cut into what I had scheduled for the day, and the rhythm for getting things done fell off.

The good news is I hit my weight loss goals (within 4 lbs.) and all vitals came back great.

The not-so-good news is there hasn't been much activity on the job hunt. A couple of rejections, but otherwise .. barely a whisper.

Critical issue is not knowing where the money for next month is going to come from.

MONDAY

Affirmation: DON'T LET EXCUSES STEAL YOUR POTENTIAL

Another gem from Jim Rohn. When you make excuses, you chip away at your potential to the point you have nothing left.

Small daily habits done consistently over time lead to success.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: DISCIPLINE IS THE BRIDGE BETWEEN GOALS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Build trust in yourself by keeping your word. Do the thing you set out to do. Wake up early, get sh** done, make sh** happen, reflect on what worked and where to improve, then repeat.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: GEN-X GETS IT DONE!!

Went to the doctor's so not much to write about to day. Focused on Pen Test afterwards.

UPDATE - Had a stellar visit the the Nurse Practitioner (not quite doctor) and she was cool. Nearly hit my weight goal and all vitals look good. Scheduled a follow-up for July and might need a dental visit soon.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS .. REBUILD!!

For personal and professional reasons, this applies.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS IS NOT IN SEEKING MORE, BUT IN DEVELOPING THE CAPACITY TO ENJOY LESS - Socrates

• Simplicity: Socrates emphasized that true happiness comes from appreciating what we have rather than constantly seeking more.
• Self-Control: Happiness is achievable through rational control over desires and focusing on the soul rather than material possessions.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful for another solid week of learning, doing, and growing.
2. Grateful to be going to my doctor's (PCP) finally, after waiting for so long.
3. Grateful for an amazing health result. The months of consistent working out, eating clean, and sleeping well are paying off.

What We Loved

1. Wraith.sh is really fun

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Cloud Pen Testing - Google Cloud [Status: TO DO!] | Azure [Status: TO DO!]
2. INNER WORK [Status: TO DO!!] Rollover from last week. I keep sleeping on this.

---

IN PROGRESS

3. Android PT - HexTree [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Android Bindermodule .. working through it.
4. Web App PT - Started on Etsy [Status: TEMP BLOCKED!] Had to rebuild Kali .. In looking to make room on my machine, I may have indirectly deleted a dependency tied to the machine.
5. QA DAY - "SevereQA" business idea [Status: TO DO!!] Writing up the business plan and how to use agents.
6. Writing - "Husb" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Didn't get to it. Saving it for the weekend.
7. READ Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Almost finished with Part-III.

---

DONE

9. Substack Account [Status: DONE!] Profile finished; Article Published; Posted to Linked In: weak engagement.
10. AI/LLM Pen Testing - Wraith.sh [Status: 90% DONE!] Module-2: Indirect Prompt Injection .. not finished. Can't get the flag, and I need to finish the questions.
11. QA DAY - Playwright CLI [Status: BLOCKED!] // Appium Practice - iOS & Android [Status: DONE!]
12. Web App PT - Pinterest [Status: BLOCKED!] Still no resolution.
13. Google Project Management [Status: NOT DOING!!] At $49 / mo. not worth the time .. for now.

What We Longed For

1. A security consulting job.
2. More time. This week was an absolute bust. I don't think I got anything done, and only filed 2 job applications.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market .. bad keeps getting worse!

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday June 5, 2026 - “Summer Lovin' ” Ed.

Highlights for the week

The idea of the "Golden Bhudda" rings ever true. Why work so hard to be someone ideal, when it was inside you all along. You just have to chip away at the bs, the trauma, the hurts, and all the behaviors that have got in your way.

June 6th makes 12 months since my last paycheck. It's been an instructive year. A necessary year. And a self-improving year. I don't miss the day-to-day commute to work, or the stress of dealing with management. I do miss pay and benefits. SI lost a couple of big fish this week so I don't feel too bad about losing my job. I do miss the work. Consulting is where I see myself. In the meantime, I keep applyin', and I keep tryin', but the man keeps denyin' me.

MONDAY

Affirmation: GET S** DONE, MAKE S** HAPPEN!

Completed my assessment for the year. Still so much to learn, but I've made great strides. The negative self-talk has improved. As has the areas where I failed at SI. By slowly building out the new microhabits, I'm overwriting the old ones. Consistency is key, and disciplined action is how I've been living. I will keep working hard at being 1% better ever .. single .. day.

I've reset my standards, and since BVI, have made every effort to live by them. Small daily decisions done consistency that move me towards my purpose.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: I CAN DO ALL THINGS IN HIM WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH

Philippians 4:15; Love this quote. The days are going by so fast, and I don't have much more positive news on the job front. Should I even bother starting my own business?

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: THAT WHICH WAS MEANT FOR YOU SHALL NOT PASS YOU BY!

Not a lot got done today. Did finally get around to working with my son on his learning. Making great progress in Spanish. Started the AI Pen Test module #2.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: "MAKE THE DECISION AT YOUR STRONGEST, EXECUTE EVEN AT YOUR WEAKEST" - D. Goggins

Heard the great pod from Goggins. The one thing he said (of many things) was that the mind is your ally, and enemy. It will betray you when you are at your weakest by allowing you to slip in to comfort. Negotiating for rest over work. Doing what feels safe over what stretches you. And it will replay all your failings as a reminder of where the dragons are. That's when you have to override that voice with a stronger voice that says, "not today, bitch! ... QUIT? Not today, bitch! Skip the workout? Not today, bitch!"

FRIDAY

Affirmation: BE MORE AWESOME!!

Your brain keeps showing you the fails. Use it as a learning tool. Study the pattern, fix yourself, and RISE!! Healing has been the major factor.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful to have had these past 12 months to really truly explore what I want for myself and my professional career.
2. Grateful for the wisdom and guidance to have been able to mentor others. Met some great people and hope to land a mentor soon.
3. Grateful for the family. Always, it's about being stronger together.
4. Grateful to be living my truth and keeping to my standards: Staying focused; Keeping faithful; Honoring my family; And now to fix my finanances; So I might find fulfilment.

What We Loved

1. Chill week, so I'm always loving the discipline and dedication to get 1% better every single day.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Google Project Management [Status: TO DO!!] Thinking about this a lot.
2. INNER WORK [Status: TO DO!!] Rollover from last week. I keep sleeping on this.
3. QA DAY - "SevereQA" business idea [Status: TO DO!!] Writing up the business plan and how to use agents.
4. Cloud Pen TestingGoogle Cloud [Status: TO DO!] | Azure [Status: TO DO!]

---

IN PROGRESS

1. Web App PT - Pinterest [Status: BLOCKED!] Still no resolution
2. QA DAY - Playwright CLI [Status: BLOCKED!] Ran through my tokens and have to wait for June to reset.
3. AI/LLM Pen Testing - Wraith.sh [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Module-2: Indirect Prompt Injection .. not finished.
4. Cloud Pen Testing - AWS [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Didn't get to it this week.
5. Android PT - HexTree [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Android Bindermodule .. working through it.
6. READ Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Almost finished with Part-III.
7. Writing - "Husb" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Didn't get to it. Saving it for the weekend.
8. Side Hustle Substack Account [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Near-complete. Lots of distractions this week.

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DONE

1. Appium w. Python - Practice [Status: DONE!]. Resolved the blocker issue with iOS and finished some simple tests.




What We Longed For

1. A great job in consulting.



What We Loathed

1. The job market in 2026. As of this writing, well over 1 Million jobs lost, including 70,000 in IT. And the layoffs keep happening.

2025 - 2026 UNEMPLOYMENT YEAR IN REVIEW

THE CURRENT JOB SITUATION FOR 2026

To date:

• Number of jobs applied to: 371
• Number of interviews: 0
• Number of referrals used: 2
• Number of rejections: 86
• Number of non-responses: 132

CONCLUSION

So far, the job market in 2026 is a disaster. AI is just the excuse for executive mismanagement. It is all "right-sizing" to return employee headcount to a proper level.

Linked in, Indeed and most of the other job boards just don't work anymore.

Referrals only get you so far.

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THE GOALS FOR 2026 .. and beyond!!

1. Certification Path: eJPT → PNPT → OSCP → CISSP Total Cost: $3500 (as of this writing)
2. Employment Ideal: Security Consultant at Mandiant (or a similar company)
3. Employment Alternative: Purple Team - but I have to get fluid with Blue Team.
4. Employment Alternative 2: QA Consultant using AI to spearhead testing efficiencies in Fiverr.
5. Continued Writing - Get published by year's end, or come close to it

Best to remember that, a mistake repeated more than twice is a habit. And we need to replace bad habits with good ones.

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PERSONAL ASSESSMENT | JUNE 2025 - JUNE 2026

This time last year, we were handed our hat at Secure Ideas and shown the door. It has been 12 months since and this assessment will assess how much we've progressed since our "untimely departure". The question to answer: What kind of person must I become to achieve all that I want?

In 2025, You were terminated from employment due to performance issues and falling well-below expectations for the role.

QUESTION The problem was your company never properly assessed your current level and proper course. How have you corrected that?

ANSWER I have been consistent in addressing shortcomings. The list is as follows:

• AI SEC. Working through the modules on https://wraith.sh ... so much fun!!
• CLOUD SEC. Currently working through learning Cloud Security. An area that I have no interest in.
• MOBILE SEC. Also learning about mobile pen testing on Android .. a deep dive using a module I found online .. and it is free!
• NETWORK SEC. I was weak at Network Pen Testing, so I completed a course with TCM and learned more in three weeks than I had the entire time at SI. [TASK: Need more practice and will renew my HTB subscription when money gets right]
• API SEC.I was weak with API Pen Testing, so I completed a course with API Sec and gained far more insight to OWASP TOP 10 For API, learned new tools to use. I would love a Pro license to really improve. This was where I severly lacked.
• WEB APP SEC. I was improving with reporting, but I have since conducted several pen tests (really bug bounties) and leveraged AI to improve my writing skills. My reports have improved as well. Proud of their quality. You also recognized where you bombed from a component testing pov and have made great strides in improving.
• VOLUNTEERING Had the opportunity to work with BSidesNYC last year. Not a lot of opportunities have presented themselves. Still early in the year.
• BLOGGING Been steady with this. Might move to Substack.
• MENTORING Had mentees come and go. Such is the nature of work.

WINS

Overall, I feel I possess the personability to make consultancy a viable career path the rest is fixable. Failure has been the greatest teacher, but it does not define me.

OPPORTUNITIES

Still looking to maintain consistency and discipline with my day-to-day habits. Below are some areas where I still need to improve:

CONTINUED PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

I will endeavor to continue working on myself in the following manner:

1. Continue to exhibit extreme levels of integrity through consistent actions done daily.
2. Strive to be reliable; the person they can count on.
3. Strive for Excellence .. At all times, in all ways, with the people that matter most.
4. Be diligent, disciplined, and dedicated.
5. Be passionate and positive .. the anchor in the storm.
6. Continue to work on contributing and to learn from others.

CONTINUED PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

1. I will continue my endeavors and practice more. Learn from where I failed and keep celebrating the wins.
2. I will work hard to stay faithful to my personal standards and be 1% better every single day.
3. On more than one occassion I failed to live up to the expectations put forth by my job. A mistake I will never make again now that I have a renewed set of standards to live up.
4. Did I produce excellent work? No. But I am working at making sure this never happens again. 100% maximum effort every day.
5. Next opportunity, I will work to ask better questions and be more vocal when needs are not met. This was a huge problem at SI .. the absolute lack of onboarding and no one training me.

ADD VALUE TO THE MARKETPLACE

1. Articulate my value by continuing to learn and grow, personally and professionally.
2. I will strive to keep doing high-value work, and spend time on the work that moves me forward .. like reading more.

IMPROVE NETWORKING

1. I need to work on connecting with the right people, not just collecting Linked In invites.
2. I should reach out to my network on Ln more. Seems like everyone is heads-down doing their own thing.
3. As someone who has trust issues, and has been burned by 2 mentors, I don't see myself looking to land another one any time soon.