Quarantine, 100 days later .. its over!!

What we loved

In the 100 days since we have been in the state-mandated quarantine, the adjustment to working from home was a bit smooth. There was a lot to like:

1. Not having to spend an extra bit of money and losing time every day in a commute
2. Not necessarily having to wear shoes
3. Not having to spend much money on food since home was a 24-7 all-you-can-eat buffet. Not that this happened
4. Body-weight exercises became a huge relief
5. NY State was blessed to have a proper mayor who flourished in the crisis
6. Having a great job when so many others lost theirs. And there are many more advances on the horizon

What we loathed

There was a lot about being under mandated quarantine that made life a bit of a challenge:

1. Gyms were closed for the better part of of the 100 days of quarantine. The weight-gain is real
2. Ordering take-out was also locked-up for the first 80+ days
3. A certain segment of the population felt empowered to police others. Not cool, Karen!!
4. The constant switching of information was annoying. Yesterday's folly became tomorrows favor
5. The lack of privacy took a toll on intimacy
6. Certain political leaders who wilted like flowers in the rain when faced with challenges of a global pandemic
7. The unnecessary violence that came with looting and the audacity to justify it as an exercise in free speech following the protest of police brutality

What we lost

I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment to drop a line on the souls lost:

1. Total loss of life: 100k, not limited to those brave doctors and first-responders who braved the dangers of exposure so others can heal
2. REST IN PEACE Brave angels of light: Ahamaud Aubry, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd. Their deaths at the hand of uncivilized policing opened up the floodgates of civil unrest, protests, looting, and a boisterous call for change. THE OPPRESSION ENDS NOW!!

What we learned

In the depths of the crisis, there are two kinds of people: those who rise and meet the challenge head-on, and those who shrink away. The 45th President of the United States proved himself to be a coward of magnanimous proportions. The man exposed himself as the narcissist, fascist totalitarian he so admires in the likes of Putin and Kim Jong-Un.

When the nation expected unity, the man gave us division. When the people expected understanding and compassion, they were met with petulant tweets. Where the citizens called for change in the wake of George Floyd's death, they were met with threats of military force; the unmitigated gall to flex tyrannical muscle on US soil smacks of so much wrong with No.45 that it boggles the mind.

What we longed for

Best guess we are all longing for the freedom to move about our city without the worry of COVID-19. The state-mandated has been lifted today. Its a cautious optimistic, calculated re-opening.

Quarantine, the first 30 days

30 DAYS OF SOCIAL DISTANCING

NYC is nearing a full month of quarantine. The death toll continues to rise. We celebrate our doctors, nurses, first-responders, and other health care professionals every day at 7:00pm. Conclusion: it feels like we may go the full span of summer locked in. It will get better, but at the moment all is not well.

I'll be celebrating 4 months at my current employment. I like the company, and I appreciate my work, but there's this nagging feeling like I've not quite gelled with my team. At times, I feel like I'm just freelancing - like I do what I have to do - on my own. I can't relate to the people I work with. I don't get the strong since of reassurance from my managers. But then I can admit I have always had a history of not quite fitting in.

FITTING IN ...

I wanted to dedicate this space to the concept of "fitting in." What it means to be a "good fit" and what it feels like to be apart from the team instead of a part of it. As someone who had to be the "man-of-the-house" at a young age, I've always felt like I had to grow up faster than I normal. It also meant I had to figure a lot of shit out. The consequence was resentment of authority and the self-perception that I was a square peg.

IN MY TEEN YEARS

When I moved from Miami to NY, I was the new kid. Living in Forest Hills for the time was a godsend but moving to Long Island broke my heart. I left behind a great group of friends, my first crush, and wonderful memories.
As the new kid in a predominantly white neighborhood, I never felt quite right. Sure I made friends and all, but some part of me always hated the experience. Fast-forward to high school. I was a chubby, pimply, quiet kid who never really got the chance to date or play on a professional sports team. I was so preoccupied with not trying to make a complete ass of myself that even the slightest bit of attention and I wilted. It was awful. God how I hated high school!

IN COLLEGE

The blessing of College life is that you can wipe the slate clean of who you were in high school and start anew. You go from being someone to being no one. This was ideal for me in many ways. But it also proved a bit of a challenge. Being the quiet introvert proved a bit of challenge when making connections. I got caught up in the trappings of campus life, but it was hard to make solid friendships.

Finding my roots

One of the greatest take-aways from St. John's University - my alma mater - was OLAS: the Organization of Latin-American Students. For the first time in my life, I felt like I truly belonged. There were others like me who spoke my language, shared my beliefs, and laughed at the same things. It was a great fit. The next 4 years were bliss. I belonged to a group. I had friends. I had a social life. I miss them

Failing at frats

The negative consequence of my college experience came at the hands of interactions with fraternities. Freshman year - rush week - and I was courted by one group, but they seemed like a typical group of BROs looking to get drunk and get laid. Not my cup-of-tea. The group that I could see myself a part of made it a point to reject my application, not once, but twice. At the time, I was never more hurt by the rejection. Surely, I was a good fit for OLAS, and therefore I would be a good fit for this group. Sadly, not the case. The sting bothered me for a while, but in hindsight, they weren't the fit for me, nor I for them.

AT WORK

Most workplaces emphasize the intrinsic need to be a "cultural fit"; that you subscribe to the same ideals, laugh at the same jokes, and share the same philosophies. You and the group are of one mind. In some of the jobs I have had, I felt like I was in a second home. The people I worked with were great kinsmen.

Then there were jobs where I never felt more alone. I was in a room full of people and felt like a wandering spirit amongst the living, invisible and ignored. I remember working at one such agency, a big place, and there were so many cliques. It was hard to ally myself with any one group because I just could not relate. I never felt quite right. Even most recently, I had one job where the team was like a second home. We all laughed at the same jokes, and shared the ideas.
Even now, at almost 45yo, I find it difficult to relate to my co-workers. And with this quarantine being a thing, it makes forming connections all the more difficult. I miss my old co-workers. I only hope things turn around.

2020 Hindsight | First 30, part-3: Make The Job You Want

TWO WEEKS INTO OUR SOCIAL DISTANCING

Update: The death toll for COVID-19 in New York City has increased exponentially. As of today - March 28 - the count is at +500. Our dearest President has yet to make an executive decision on whether or not to enforce MANDATORY QUARANTINE in the Tri-State area.
The situation is bleak. The prognosis so far is that we have yet to hit the peak. Social distancing is the prescription to keep the virus from spreading worse than it already has. Sadly, there are those who refuse to obey.

In my last post, I gave a quick synopsis on where I was in first 3 months at the work. Not gonna lie, it's been the best and most challenging of times. If there has been any bad, its been mostly self-induced. But a tremendous opportunity has showed its face and I am all-the-more motivated.

When you see a way, you make a way.

I will dedicate this space to discussing the job I want .. and the job I'm "making"

INTRODUCTIONS

Allow me to start with the following introduction. When I was hired, part of our onboarding/orientation included fundamental user information security education; the basics on what to do and what to avoid as it related to sensitive information and the like. For the first time that I can remember, I was face to face with Security people. I had to make my acquaintances.

THE TEAM

Having made the rounds, I became more acquainted with the rest of the team members. My eagerness felt like an explosion of immense joy. I knew I had always been passionate about getting into the field, but being face to face with persons in the field (not just acquaintances in social media) made the exuberance of wanting to become a team member more than I could bear.

THE WORK

So joining the Security team was not going to be easy. First there's my current role (which I'm enjoying) and the responsibilities that come along with it. Too many times I have stepped outside myself to get the information I need. By this I mean, I know whom to ask for questions, but in my self-reliance, I have taken the onus to circumvent that and go to the source, sometimes with a bit of friction as a result. Then end result was never to become a problem, but to solve them. Which brings me to the Security team.

Having met with one key member virtually, there was so much excitement and kismet that came out of that meeting that I could barely contain it. We spoke about the deficiencies of the department and where I could be an asset. We spoke about the skills and experience I would need to qualify for the role. We spoke about the needs of the department and where I could fill a spot sorely lacking by way of process. To conclude: THIS IS THE JOB I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR !! We bonded and I got the approval. I know what I want to do.

THE ROLE

For the moment, I envision a Security Analyst role where I can apply my former QA testing acumen towards security-based testing. The intent is to incorporate both a manual and automated approach to web application security testing. I would leverage existing tools, tests, and methods to ensure the security of our applications, as well as the quality thereof. I don't want to "hack" our apps, but if the need to do so warrants it, I want to be that guy. Ultimately, it would be to build up the resume worthy of a RED TEAM.

I have never been more enthused to go to work as I have been this week. I aim to be the best I can be for my team and continue to flourish in my role. But my is on the prize hard-core. I'm close to the dream job.

So yeah ... when you don't have the job you want - Make the job you want. Be your best self and make it known that you have the passion and persistence to persevere !!

2020 Hindsight | First 30, part-2: New Decade, New Job

GOALS CHECK-IN

It has been 90 days since my first "new decade" post and a lot has happened so far. But I will first start with my goals check-in and see where I'm at.

Top-5 Goals & Status

• Get Certified

  • Target date: June
  • Status: Not started
  • Reason: NYC shutdown and busy at work

• Practice Security: Tooling and Methodology

  • Target date: 12/1
  • Status: In Progress
  • Reason: Employing lessons learned at work with Security dept.

• Learning "Threat Detection"

  • Target date: 12/1
  • Status: In Progress
  • Reason: On chapter 5 of 12

• Be Better today

  • Target date: 12/1
  • Status: In Progress
  • Reason: Continued learning. I think I strive for a "father-figure" which is why I fail to integrate with management.
    

    Learning a new skill has been the most fun at work, but the documentation and information exchange have placed me in a reactive rather than proactive state. Working on fixing this.

    In losing my Elephant "family", integrating with new co-workers remains elusive. Even now, the concept of "fitting in" is a bit of a challenge.

• Travel more

  • Target date: June
  • Status: Cancelled
  • Reason: NYC shutdown has forced us to rethink any travel plans for the foreseeable future

• New Career Opportunity

  • Target date:January
  • Status: Done
  • Reason: Currently employed at Unqork. Don't f** it up!

• WFH Fitness

  • Target date:12 weeks from start date
  • Status: Not Started
  • Reason: Need to find research on best program to use

There you have it! A quick check-in of my goals, and the promises I intend keep (I like this word as "goals" is flaky). Still holding myself accountable for the positives and negatives. Unwritten expectations become hidden resentments. But at the moment, I have to focus on my own personal expectations. I know my strengths and weaknesses. Mostly its about the attitude of moving past my own stubbornness. I'm good at getting in my own way.

2020 Hindsight | First 30, part-1: New Decade, New Pandemic

The road so far ...

3 months into the new year, new decade and there is a lot to cover, so I will keep it brief. A lot has happened with regards to my new employment, new moments, and other news I will cover more diligently in the months to come .. promise!

COVID-19 PANDEMIC

I would be remiss if I didn't start off with what is quite literally the most life-changing event of the new decade: COVID-19 aka "Corona Virus" that began showing up the first few weeks of 2020 (the exact date remains a hot topic).

How it started

The origins of the pandemic are murky at best, with opposing countries US and CHINA blaming each other. The truth is the virus was not an engineered bio-weapon:

".. the virus evolved to its current pathogenic state through natural selection in a non-human host and then jumped to humans. This is how previous coronavirus outbreaks have emerged, with humans contracting the virus after direct exposure to civets (SARS) and camels (MERS)"

source: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/03/200317175442.htm

How its spread

What is fact so far is the outbreak started in China and quickly made its way across Asia and Europe, with Italy one of the first countries hardest hit.

Spanning several weeks in February, the rate of spread grew exponentially, eventually reaching the US. By the first week in March, the spread reached all of Europe and nearly every state in the union, with infections being reported moment-by-moment, in all walks of life (including celebrities), with some cases of fatalities being reported.

What we know

• The virus is an evolved version of earlier pathogens like SARS and MERS
• The virus is spread by contact, person-to-person, or from surfaces
• The virus is deadliest amongst people past the age of 70, or with a pre-existing condition
• The virus lives airborne for days, and on surfaces for up to a few hours

What we don't know

• To date, there's no known cure

How we are fighting it

• As of March 16th, NYers (among many other states) have been ordered to maintain 6ft of "social distancing" with each other
• Most offices - including my new job - have been ordered to enact a "Work-from-home" policy
• Non-essential personnel have been asked to stay home
• Schools, Churches, and other public venues are closed. Restaurants are opened for take-out services only
• Gatherings of people have been restricted to 50 or so
• A possible shut-down of NY State is eminent

The fallout so far

Leadership during hardship

It is during the most difficult times that we see the character of a person. We judge if they put WE before ME. We see leadership and grace under fire. We get a feeling of hope and comfort, not angst and fear. We get facts, not conjecture and innuendo. We get decisive action, not temerity.

Our Governor Andrew Cuomo has demonstrated such leadership and bold action. Our President and City Mayor have failed in their duties to allay fears and provide the necessary information and decisive action that defines separates a great leader from the rest.

Coping and conforming

Many celebrities have taken up the challenge of employing social media to reach out to fans and provide some form of entertainment

Fitness types have also employed YouTube and Instagram to publish home-based workouts. Something I fully plan to take advantage of!!

Working from home .. and schooling from home .. are our new norms. Like many, I am practicing social distancing and WFH policy. I will go into this next post.
The most disappointing thing is the behavior of some. There are still crimes happening. There are still people who wish to troll others. And even from our national leaders, there is a consistent back-and-forth of blame and misinformation rather than facts and hope.

Celebrating our Doctors, Nurses, and others in healthcare

In closing, we celebrate the men and women in the health and medical profession tasked with working extreme hours under the most dire of condition with limited supplies and ever increasing demand. Prayers to the lord above that we may persevere in these trying times.

2020 Hindsight | Lessons Learned & New Goals To Achieve

New Decade, New Me ... sorta!!

Where to begin?

2019 has come and gone, and with it a grip of memories both good and bad. I won't go into too much of what this year was like as I have already done this in previous posts. But I will dedicate this post to what I learned in the past year and what I want to accomplish. The goals remain the somewhat the same, but with a renewed dedication. It has to happen this decade!

Top-5 Lessons Learned

• Digital Agencies are no longer the place I want to work at. There's barely a place for Automation Engineers there.
• Layoffs can happen even when you are working in an optimal way, with zero problems. Its never personal.
• Always make time to travel. This was one of the greatest highlights to happen. This will be a priority in 2020.
• Always be relevant in the things you do, be it at work or at home.
• Failure is the best possible teacher. Getting caught unprepared for a tech interview was embarrassing.

Top-5 Goals

• Get Certified. I came dangerously close last year to accomplishing this. It happens this decade. The aim is summer (June).
• Never stop learning. Keep practicing, keep growing in your skillset.
• Be better today than you were yesterday. Lofty, but ideal.
• Travel more. At least 2 cruises per year, after all debt is paid down.
• New career opportunities. I hope to have a new gig by end-of-month. TBD!!

There you have it! A super-short listing of experiences I took away from last year, and the promises I will keep (I like this word as "goals" is flaky). While its odd that I no longer have a chip on my shoulder about workplace management, I remain true to my ideals and hold myself accountable for the positives and negatives. I am not proud of my conduct (as it relates to my relationship with management) at my former gig, but I did a lot of good and I take with me nothing but the best of memories. I should have lived up to their expectations, but as these were not apparent, it's true that unwritten expectations become hidden resentments.

I kiss last year, last decade good-bye and I welcome this new decade with positivity. It's only fitting that we can call this the 'hindsight' decade. Looking back, a lot of good happened. Looking onward, we stay true to ourselves, true to what we believe, and march forward with steadfast courage and confidence.