2020 Hindsight | First 30, part-3: Make The Job You Want

TWO WEEKS INTO OUR SOCIAL DISTANCING

Update: The death toll for COVID-19 in New York City has increased exponentially. As of today - March 28 - the count is at +500. Our dearest President has yet to make an executive decision on whether or not to enforce MANDATORY QUARANTINE in the Tri-State area.
The situation is bleak. The prognosis so far is that we have yet to hit the peak. Social distancing is the prescription to keep the virus from spreading worse than it already has. Sadly, there are those who refuse to obey.

In my last post, I gave a quick synopsis on where I was in first 3 months at the work. Not gonna lie, it's been the best and most challenging of times. If there has been any bad, its been mostly self-induced. But a tremendous opportunity has showed its face and I am all-the-more motivated.

When you see a way, you make a way.

I will dedicate this space to discussing the job I want .. and the job I'm "making"

INTRODUCTIONS

Allow me to start with the following introduction. When I was hired, part of our onboarding/orientation included fundamental user information security education; the basics on what to do and what to avoid as it related to sensitive information and the like. For the first time that I can remember, I was face to face with Security people. I had to make my acquaintances.

THE TEAM

Having made the rounds, I became more acquainted with the rest of the team members. My eagerness felt like an explosion of immense joy. I knew I had always been passionate about getting into the field, but being face to face with persons in the field (not just acquaintances in social media) made the exuberance of wanting to become a team member more than I could bear.

THE WORK

So joining the Security team was not going to be easy. First there's my current role (which I'm enjoying) and the responsibilities that come along with it. Too many times I have stepped outside myself to get the information I need. By this I mean, I know whom to ask for questions, but in my self-reliance, I have taken the onus to circumvent that and go to the source, sometimes with a bit of friction as a result. Then end result was never to become a problem, but to solve them. Which brings me to the Security team.

Having met with one key member virtually, there was so much excitement and kismet that came out of that meeting that I could barely contain it. We spoke about the deficiencies of the department and where I could be an asset. We spoke about the skills and experience I would need to qualify for the role. We spoke about the needs of the department and where I could fill a spot sorely lacking by way of process. To conclude: THIS IS THE JOB I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR !! We bonded and I got the approval. I know what I want to do.

THE ROLE

For the moment, I envision a Security Analyst role where I can apply my former QA testing acumen towards security-based testing. The intent is to incorporate both a manual and automated approach to web application security testing. I would leverage existing tools, tests, and methods to ensure the security of our applications, as well as the quality thereof. I don't want to "hack" our apps, but if the need to do so warrants it, I want to be that guy. Ultimately, it would be to build up the resume worthy of a RED TEAM.

I have never been more enthused to go to work as I have been this week. I aim to be the best I can be for my team and continue to flourish in my role. But my is on the prize hard-core. I'm close to the dream job.

So yeah ... when you don't have the job you want - Make the job you want. Be your best self and make it known that you have the passion and persistence to persevere !!

2020 Hindsight | First 30, part-2: New Decade, New Job

GOALS CHECK-IN

It has been 90 days since my first "new decade" post and a lot has happened so far. But I will first start with my goals check-in and see where I'm at.

Top-5 Goals & Status

• Get Certified

  • Target date: June
  • Status: Not started
  • Reason: NYC shutdown and busy at work

• Practice Security: Tooling and Methodology

  • Target date: 12/1
  • Status: In Progress
  • Reason: Employing lessons learned at work with Security dept.

• Learning "Threat Detection"

  • Target date: 12/1
  • Status: In Progress
  • Reason: On chapter 5 of 12

• Be Better today

  • Target date: 12/1
  • Status: In Progress
  • Reason: Continued learning. I think I strive for a "father-figure" which is why I fail to integrate with management.
    

    Learning a new skill has been the most fun at work, but the documentation and information exchange have placed me in a reactive rather than proactive state. Working on fixing this.

    In losing my Elephant "family", integrating with new co-workers remains elusive. Even now, the concept of "fitting in" is a bit of a challenge.

• Travel more

  • Target date: June
  • Status: Cancelled
  • Reason: NYC shutdown has forced us to rethink any travel plans for the foreseeable future

• New Career Opportunity

  • Target date:January
  • Status: Done
  • Reason: Currently employed at Unqork. Don't f** it up!

• WFH Fitness

  • Target date:12 weeks from start date
  • Status: Not Started
  • Reason: Need to find research on best program to use

There you have it! A quick check-in of my goals, and the promises I intend keep (I like this word as "goals" is flaky). Still holding myself accountable for the positives and negatives. Unwritten expectations become hidden resentments. But at the moment, I have to focus on my own personal expectations. I know my strengths and weaknesses. Mostly its about the attitude of moving past my own stubbornness. I'm good at getting in my own way.

2020 Hindsight | First 30, part-1: New Decade, New Pandemic

The road so far ...

3 months into the new year, new decade and there is a lot to cover, so I will keep it brief. A lot has happened with regards to my new employment, new moments, and other news I will cover more diligently in the months to come .. promise!

COVID-19 PANDEMIC

I would be remiss if I didn't start off with what is quite literally the most life-changing event of the new decade: COVID-19 aka "Corona Virus" that began showing up the first few weeks of 2020 (the exact date remains a hot topic).

How it started

The origins of the pandemic are murky at best, with opposing countries US and CHINA blaming each other. The truth is the virus was not an engineered bio-weapon:

".. the virus evolved to its current pathogenic state through natural selection in a non-human host and then jumped to humans. This is how previous coronavirus outbreaks have emerged, with humans contracting the virus after direct exposure to civets (SARS) and camels (MERS)"

source: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/03/200317175442.htm

How its spread

What is fact so far is the outbreak started in China and quickly made its way across Asia and Europe, with Italy one of the first countries hardest hit.

Spanning several weeks in February, the rate of spread grew exponentially, eventually reaching the US. By the first week in March, the spread reached all of Europe and nearly every state in the union, with infections being reported moment-by-moment, in all walks of life (including celebrities), with some cases of fatalities being reported.

What we know

• The virus is an evolved version of earlier pathogens like SARS and MERS
• The virus is spread by contact, person-to-person, or from surfaces
• The virus is deadliest amongst people past the age of 70, or with a pre-existing condition
• The virus lives airborne for days, and on surfaces for up to a few hours

What we don't know

• To date, there's no known cure

How we are fighting it

• As of March 16th, NYers (among many other states) have been ordered to maintain 6ft of "social distancing" with each other
• Most offices - including my new job - have been ordered to enact a "Work-from-home" policy
• Non-essential personnel have been asked to stay home
• Schools, Churches, and other public venues are closed. Restaurants are opened for take-out services only
• Gatherings of people have been restricted to 50 or so
• A possible shut-down of NY State is eminent

The fallout so far

Leadership during hardship

It is during the most difficult times that we see the character of a person. We judge if they put WE before ME. We see leadership and grace under fire. We get a feeling of hope and comfort, not angst and fear. We get facts, not conjecture and innuendo. We get decisive action, not temerity.

Our Governor Andrew Cuomo has demonstrated such leadership and bold action. Our President and City Mayor have failed in their duties to allay fears and provide the necessary information and decisive action that defines separates a great leader from the rest.

Coping and conforming

Many celebrities have taken up the challenge of employing social media to reach out to fans and provide some form of entertainment

Fitness types have also employed YouTube and Instagram to publish home-based workouts. Something I fully plan to take advantage of!!

Working from home .. and schooling from home .. are our new norms. Like many, I am practicing social distancing and WFH policy. I will go into this next post.
The most disappointing thing is the behavior of some. There are still crimes happening. There are still people who wish to troll others. And even from our national leaders, there is a consistent back-and-forth of blame and misinformation rather than facts and hope.

Celebrating our Doctors, Nurses, and others in healthcare

In closing, we celebrate the men and women in the health and medical profession tasked with working extreme hours under the most dire of condition with limited supplies and ever increasing demand. Prayers to the lord above that we may persevere in these trying times.

2020 Hindsight | Lessons Learned & New Goals To Achieve

New Decade, New Me ... sorta!!

Where to begin?

2019 has come and gone, and with it a grip of memories both good and bad. I won't go into too much of what this year was like as I have already done this in previous posts. But I will dedicate this post to what I learned in the past year and what I want to accomplish. The goals remain the somewhat the same, but with a renewed dedication. It has to happen this decade!

Top-5 Lessons Learned

• Digital Agencies are no longer the place I want to work at. There's barely a place for Automation Engineers there.
• Layoffs can happen even when you are working in an optimal way, with zero problems. Its never personal.
• Always make time to travel. This was one of the greatest highlights to happen. This will be a priority in 2020.
• Always be relevant in the things you do, be it at work or at home.
• Failure is the best possible teacher. Getting caught unprepared for a tech interview was embarrassing.

Top-5 Goals

• Get Certified. I came dangerously close last year to accomplishing this. It happens this decade. The aim is summer (June).
• Never stop learning. Keep practicing, keep growing in your skillset.
• Be better today than you were yesterday. Lofty, but ideal.
• Travel more. At least 2 cruises per year, after all debt is paid down.
• New career opportunities. I hope to have a new gig by end-of-month. TBD!!

There you have it! A super-short listing of experiences I took away from last year, and the promises I will keep (I like this word as "goals" is flaky). While its odd that I no longer have a chip on my shoulder about workplace management, I remain true to my ideals and hold myself accountable for the positives and negatives. I am not proud of my conduct (as it relates to my relationship with management) at my former gig, but I did a lot of good and I take with me nothing but the best of memories. I should have lived up to their expectations, but as these were not apparent, it's true that unwritten expectations become hidden resentments.

I kiss last year, last decade good-bye and I welcome this new decade with positivity. It's only fitting that we can call this the 'hindsight' decade. Looking back, a lot of good happened. Looking onward, we stay true to ourselves, true to what we believe, and march forward with steadfast courage and confidence.

Affirmation | What Door Are You Walking Through?

The above-heading is derived from a recent lecture given by Minister Joel Osteen on his weekly program titled "Joel Osteen Ministries"

Dearest Friend,
I have a confession to make: At my most recent engagement, I held myself back from personal and professional growth. The end result cost me a tremendous opportunity, a great salary, and employment. As I reflect on what went well, and what went wrong, I can honestly say there was a lot that could have been done better on my part.

What went well:

For the most part, I can honestly say I found myself working in capacity I love best. I was happy working with a small team, but mostly I was in my comfort zone doing the thing I enjoy - coding. The end result was building out, not one, but two frameworks for automation. One of which is still in use as we speak.

I was also tasked with helping on distinct projects, performing manual testing, and some accessibility. Overtime, I found myself splitting my workday between coding, testing, and handling day to day tasks assigned to me by management.

I had the privilege of working with fellow testers and engineers, providing feedback, and offering ways to improve their work as well. What followed was the best six months of my work. I genuinely loved being on the team helping to find issues early, streamlining our efforts, and what-not. Sadly, it wasn't all good!

What went wrong:

I won't go into a rant about how much disdain I have for the current "cancel culture" that is rampant in the professional world. Nor will I express my displeasure at how workers get treated like disposable items. I will dedicate this time to illustrate where I failed. This is what I'm owning up to as the mistakes made, that I might need to correct immediately.

• Was not mindful

  So there was a lot of good that came out of my first 30 days. But as I went along, I never felt like I gelled quite right. The work detail kept changing a bit, and while I was still doing my coding thing, I recognize I failed to pay attention to the bigger picture. Too often I kept hearing how I had to "zoom in" and "zoom out"; focus on the details, but see the bigger picture. Something I definitely need work on.

  There were times I did catch myself doing some dumb shit. I will own that. Times where I felt like I was there and not there; present at work, but aloof of the project I was on. Some of it had to do the learning curve of being new, but other times it was just my insecurity.

• I still lacked confidence

  It had been several months, and a 10-day vacation, since my former employment and subsequent layoff. While I thought I was over it, I was still plagued with insecurities. I did my best, but too often I felt like I was a beaten dog. Doing well, working hard, and being the best possible contributor to the workplace meant nothing if at the end of the day, I would get laid off.

  It was on one such occasion, when my initial project had reached its end, and my allocated hours shifted, that I saw on my sheet a vast set of blank spots. My elation became dread; The joy of coming to work turned into a countdown of the inevitable. I was assured that it was nothing .. no one got around to it yet .. I could just ignore it. My mind was made up, and my gut was barking loudly: something wasn't quite right. Enter the doubts, the paranoia, and ...

• Imposter syndrome

  In all my professional experience, the good and the bad, I always prided myself in the work I did. I was never one to brag about my accomplishments, nor was I one to gloat on work done. I was the quiet co-worker that spoke through my work. But several new assignments and tasks, along with a sense of foreboding, had me feeling like I was a fraud, a fake, a bad hire. I was brought to this company on a referral and my performance had all but exhausted that good will.

  It as on such an assignment, tasked with working on a coding task with technologies I had never been exposed to, that I came to understand the true limits of my reach. The win was I was able to complete the task - albeit with the help of others - later than I wanted (due to shifting priorities), but never before had I experienced panic attacks and doubts in my ability. If I wasn't paranoid before about my job security, I was now. But what contributed to this was a growing sense of ostracism; like more often than not I was out of the loop. Like I ...

• Did not fit in

  In my former employ, the kinship and camaraderie formed with the team I was a part of had a profound effect. From the first week that I started and the years thereafter, it felt right. Not so much in this new place. Too many times the interactions were fleeting, barely noticeable, with hardly any connection made. Six months in and I still felt like a stranger in a strange land. Despite all my efforts, I just never felt settled in. This feeling coupled with my insecurity contributed to my decline in performance. July was my worst month.

  Then along came 9/11. We started that morning on a low. Several of the people I had bonded with were laid off. This sent me into weird funk. I recognize that now that I was in a downward spiral of depression and loss. One such co-worker I connected with was disposed of like nothing .. and she was a parent with responsibilities. It wasn't fair. I didn't handle it well. I found myself rebelling in a passive way. The quality of my work took a nose-dive and I exhibited a lack of enthusiasm. I recognize I ...

• Did not work to my fullest potential

  Three months into my job and I felt like things were ok. But as old projects ended and new ones started, there was a lot of downtime and opportunities to grow into my role. But I was hired as an Engineer setting up the automation solutions to be put to use on future projects. I did not want to take the reins of a project as a lead. I also did not want to assume any more responsibilities than I cared for. Those days for me were over.

  But management had different ideas. While I fully understood my role, I never fully knew what the expectations were for my position. The few ideas that were communicated to me were ones I embraced. But I purposefully held back from what I was expected to do because my past had taught me that hard work doesn't matter if the outcome is the same. Which brings me to the purpose of this post.

What Door Are You Walking Through?

Knowing where I failed, I know now that I can do better. I can BE BETTER. And it starts with what motivates me; when my heart is in it, I'm stellar. But it's mostly about embracing the opportunity to do something challenging. Take the risk. Grow into my purpose.

Its time to let go of old attitudes. One of the things that has plagued me from that momentous first termination is the chip on my shoulder. I still have a disdain for management, and I care very little for workplace politics. But as my resume has shown, when my heart is not in it, when I just don't care or am not happy, I don't put forth the kind of energy that keeps me employed very long.

In this coming decade, I plan to put these into effect:

• Exhibit excellent problem solving and analytical skills
• Give off positive energy and a friendly collaborative attitude
• Will possess attention to detail and quality in my work
• Have the ability to trade-off getting tasks done with stepping back to see the big picture
• Be mindful of where I am at and bloom where I am planted

I need to step up and take responsibility for what I do, not just for myself but for my family. The time has come to walk through that door!

Affirmation | Focus On Your Goals

We briefly interrupt this blog post to bring you the following pep talk ...

Following on the heels of my recent post where I talk about what I've learned in the past 10 years of being in this field, I want to take a moment to reflect on some of the points that have been consistent along my journey.

I heard it mentioned by a great tv minister that more often than not we go through "seasons" of discomfort as a means of sharpening our edges; that we are tested as a way of building character and getting stronger. Too often I have found myself in situations where I've been tasked with doing something I was unfamiliar with or that was outside my skillset. Most of the time, this has worked out. Sometimes though, this has failed spectacularly.

In another broadcast, there was a mention about our path in life and where we are supposed to be. My take-away at the conclusion of this broadcast was that I am where I am at because it was ordained by a higher power. Having been through a series of layoffs, terminations, forced resignations, and what-not was the will of the divine providence guiding me from the place where I should not be to the place where I belong. I want to believe this is true as it explains my career path thus far. But I also have to recognize my own faults in contributing to the many "changes in employment states."

No matter what new opportunity presents itself, I often apply some choice words I want to impart with you, my reader:

Slow Down!

• Take a minute to be grateful for where you are, even when it feels like you would rather be somewhere else
• When assigned a task, take time to re-read what is being asked and "grok" what is being asked before you dive in

Focus

• Quiet any linger pangs of doubt or insecurity ... you got this!!
• Avoid Unnecessary Distractions
• Stay on task and never lose sight of what is most important

Stay Aware of your skills

.. be mindful of what you do and don't know

• Recognize you don't know everything and you have to know your limits
• Do not put up a front like you know what you are talking bout ... if you don't know, its ok

Plan

• Set proper goals and stick to them .. don't loaf
• Get yourself organize with a task list
• Remember to set up a plan for any endeavor (Development, Testing, Working out, etc.)

Do

• If you intend to say something, say it with tact
• If you intend to do something, do it with all your heart, or don't do it at all
• Be at your best each and every day
• Bloom where you are planted .. be so good you can't be ignored

Act

• Give 100% in all things, in all ways

Check

• You are never to declare you are done until the thing you have set out to do is consistent and to spec, or you just cause headaches all around

Thank You! We now resume with your regularly scheduled blog post

Work on thinking through problems (not letting project pressures disrupt that process)

Affirmation | Don't just go through it .. GROW through it

10 years in QA: A brief retrospective

This Thanksgiving week - November 2019 - I will be celebrating 10 years in this field. I came to this field, on this same holiday, back in 2009 with zero experience in Quality Assurance (QA), testing, or any formal training. At the time, I was studying information systems security (a passion I still wish to pursue).

I interviewed for the position at a start-up agency with nothing more than some first-hand knowledge of compliance like Sarbanes - Oxley Act, HIPPA, and a few others, as well as a "can-do" attitude. They took a chance on me and I've been grateful ever since.

It has been a turbulent decade, filled with many highs and a few too many lows. A career that has included a steady climb to the top of the mountain - as a Manager - and currently serving as automation engineer. I will recap some of those highs and lows as befitting the tradition retros I have come to participate in while employed at many of these companies.

LIKED

• The current engineering path I am on is heaven! Automation is the greatest skill I have ever learned

• I got the opportunity to work with some amazing people, some of whom are still friends

• I got the chance to work on a wide array of applications for web and mobile

• In Agile, Test cases are an antiquated artifact that is no longer utilized

• Workplace lunch & learns have been a blessing, and I love to participate when the chance arises

---

LOATHED

• Workplace politicians can make this job unbearable

• Too many managers place a high value in Key Performance Indicators (KPI) as a way of measuring progress

• Workplace optics matters, but never for the right reasons

• I've come to the realization I really really hate micro-management

• Having to perform full regression tests on complex apps with no context on what was changed, in a short window of time

• Having to work long nights, weekends, and some holidays with no appreciation

• Getting laid off too many times for financial reasons

• Getting fired for trivial (or political) reasons

• Performance Improvement Plans (PIP) .. the instrument of purest deceit and guaranteed dismissal from employment (happened twice)

---

LONGED

• More opportunities to practice security testing

• Workplace mentor, especially when I first started. Its been rough having to learn on my own

• Career stability

• Proper certifications in Security (need to get on this)

---

LEARNED

• BOSS ISN'T ALWAYS RIGHT, BUT THE BOSS IS STILL THE BOSS

• Never accept anything you are not comfortable doing

• Bringing QA in early on a project is invaluable

• I have the potential for leadership, but I've come to learn its not a path I wish to take

• I got to work with earliest versions of iPhone, Android, Blackberry, and Windows devices

• I am at my best when I am given creative freedom and autonomy in tasks to be done

• How to work with offshore teams

• How to work with QA Outsourcing Companies like Applause

• Have learned automation skills working with different frameworks

• Automating iOS and Android apps (barely, but a lot has changed since I tried this)

• Work with DevOps, Jenkins, and collaborating on best ways to approach CI/CD

• Have finally learned how to use Postman effectively

• You have to stay on top of your skills or become obsolete

• You are an asset until you are not, then you become expendable

• I've learned to work in both Waterfall and Agile methodologies

• In one engagement, I learned how to run a team of like-minded people

• Have worked testing front-end, back-end, CMS of all kinds, some performance testing

• Have learned how to work with security tools (the learning continues)

• Learned the power of HR, positives and negatives

• I have learned there's no such thing as workplace loyalty