Friday, August 8, 2025

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday August 8, 2025 - "Weak Week" Ed.


Highlights for the week

Another week where emails and phone calls were silent with job prospects. It has been exactly 3 months since my time and SI and as I've written before, I'm not handling it well. I should have been happily employed, celebrating ONE YEAR in my new role as a security consultant. Instead, I'm back in the gulag of my own ineptitude. I haven't been sleeping well. My workouts have been steady, but not seeing the progress. And I'm gaining weight .. thinking its a low-t thing. The lonliness of not having anyone reaching out, or the fear that I may never land another job is really weighing on me. The motivation to even get up and keep moving forward has been tough. Discipline is how I operate.

The phrase, YOU FALL TO THE LEVEL OF YOUR TRAINING keeps bouncing around in my mind. As I meditate, I'm beginning to see just how true it is to everything I do and who I am.

Accepted another QA test cycle on U-Test (yay!)

Struck out on yet another HackerOne Pen Test (boo!)

What We’re Grateful For

  1. I am absolutely grateful that I still have air in my lungs, food in the 'fridge, and money in the bank. God is not done with me.
  2. Grateful that I get to watch my son coming to his own with new opportunities.
  3. Grateful that my partner hasn't left. I've given her plenty of reasons.
  4. New workout - alternating days off. Days Off = active rest days, so no real laziness

What We Loved

  1. Not a lot to love this week.

What We Learned

  1. Learned to test localization on native android app for Red Cross
  2. Network Pen Test week 3 in the bag - bult a crappy network scanner

What We Longed For

  1. Longing for a proper job.

What We Loathed

  1. Nothing to really loathe except for the situation I am in of my own doing.

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