Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday August 15, 2026 - “Solar Eclipse” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Understanding that I have been forcing my hand at life is why I've failed like I have. Probably time to relinquish control and let Jesus take the wheel. This week's post will be about that.

As it relates to the job market, every day for the past 14 months has been the same: search for job > apply to job > hear nothing (or rejection).

Have I been doing life the hard way? I'm almost 50 and haven't accomplished anything. WU WEI - Effortless Action

MONDAY

Affirmation: "THE UNIVERSE RESPONDS TO YOUR INNER BEING, NOT WHAT YOU WANT MOST" - A. Watts

Your energy determines your outcome. Life mirrors your inner posture. A chaotic mind yields a chaotic life. An open mind yields a responsive outcome.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: "CONTROL IS AN ILLUSION" - A. Watts

Presence is real. Quit forcing what isn't ready. It will not serve you. Only by letting go, relaxing, and trusting can you be accepting.

Allow instead of insist, and the doors will open.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: REAL FREEDOM IS REFUSING TO PARTICIPATE IN WHAT IS WRONG FOR YOU

Probably explains why I've subconsciouslly rebelled against jobs that never felt were my calling. So the question becomes, if I have failed at just about everything, what is my purpose? My calling?

Got a good start on the project pen test. Finished the scoping and the reconnaissance. Mapped the site as well. Tomorrow, will do a deeper dive.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: THE DIVINE IS THE ORDINARY THINGS SEEN PROPERLY

Divinity is found in everything, including us.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: ACTION CREATES CLARITY, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND

Another solid week in the bag.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful that today (Saturday 8/15) was a gorgeous day to enjoy.
2. Grateful that I get to wake up every day under a welcoming roof, good food, comfy bed, healthy and full of zest.
3. Grateful for a full 'fridge .. nuff said.
4. Grateful that the credit card payments went through. Got a temporary reprieve. Clock is ticking!!

What We Loved

1. Love the family.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Google Cloud (Coursera) ... still in the backlog of things to do.
2. Write - "Husb" - next chapter [Status: PAUSED!] ... need to make time for this.
3. Write - Next Substack Article .. need fresh ideas.

---

IN PROGRESS

4. Web PT - Canva [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Tested some file upload components and spent a considerable amount of time on the Canva AI feature, applying what I learned in "Wraith."
5. INNER WORK [Status: CONTINUAL!]
6. Android PT - [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Learning more about Intents and hijacking backlinks to websites.

---

DONE

7. AI PT - Wraith ... Finished Module No. 9. Learned about model consumption; might need to re-read the defense section
8. QA - U-Test: 4 outstanding bugs - still no word
9. Read "Hacking For Dummies" .. it was very high-level. Not quite Web Application Hacker's Handbook.

What We Longed For

1. A great job. AI Red Team as a great first-choice, Pen Testing as Second, QA Engineer 3rd.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market. Worst is yet to come!

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday August 7, 2026 - “Career & Life Refresher” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Kicked off the week with some much needed cash infusion from the credit cards. Must find a job a.s.a.p!!

MONDAY

Affirmation: ADULTHOOD MEANS TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS

Another banger of a Gen-X Video that spoke to me.

Had a tremendous workout. The routine still kicks my butt.

The priority for today (as it is every 1st of the month) is the bills.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: THE LESSONS THAT TRANSFORMED YOU COME IN THE FORM OF DISAPPOINTMENT AND FAILURE

The universe has been talking to you this whole time.

The wisdom you've been praying for has been the gift wrapped in job loss, mistakes, disappointments, and failure. Wisdom is learning to listen.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: THE WORLD NEEDS ALL THE GOOD YOU CAN DO! Maya Angelou

Had a productive morning, fluid afternoon, and relaxing evening. Been running more.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: MUCH LIKE A FULL GLASS, YOU WON'T BE READY FOR NEW UNTIL YOU HAVE EMPTIED IT OF THE OLD

Great night's sleep and solid leg day on a glorious Thursday morning is how I woke up.

The job hunt has been a slog. 14 months, zero prospects. And the layoffs are only going to get worse. I hate this timeline!

FRIDAY

Affirmation: TRUST THE PROCESS! THE UNIVERSE IS GUIDING YOUR STEPS!

Typical Friday spent cleaning. The entire day was busy with that so not much else to report.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Although the debt is insane, I'm especially grateful the credit deposits worked.
2. Grateful to have a wonderful wife who is really good at mapping these things out. Appreciate her immensely.
3. Grateful that Mom is out of the hospital and on the mend. The medication she's been on has knocked her on her ass.

What We Loved

1. Loved that there is money in the bank. I have 3 months .. clock is ticking loudly!!

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Google Cloud (Coursera) [Status: TO DO!]

---

IN PROGRESS

2. Android PT - [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Learning more about Intents.
3. QA - U-Test: 4 bugs in different states of unresolved, picked up another test cycle that went no where.
4. INNER WORK [Status: CONTINUAL!]
5. Write - "Husb" - next chapter [Status: IN PROGRESS!] ... need to make time for this
6. Reading "Hacking"[Status: IN PROGRESS!] on the Operating Systems

---

DONE

7. AI PT - Wraith ... Finished Module No. 8 [Status: DONE!] Solved the CTF after a few minutes of probing and re-submitting the document with embedded instructions
8. API PT - Upwork [Status: DONE!] Actually halted testing. The setup required a 2-week waiting period along with testing ONLY your own jobs. Mobile was also skipped for this program.
9. Write - Substack Article No. 4, pt. 2 [Status: DONE!]

What We Longed For

1. A great job in security or QA, with cool people doing amazing things, for decent pay.
2. Strongly considering AI Red Teaming

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market. And I'm afraid the worst is yet to come.

Security Testing Journal Entry | Monthly Assessment - August

GOALS

IMPROVE WEB APP & API PEN TESTING SKILLS

Needed to fix where I failed at SI and have signed up several bug bounty programs.

STATUS

• In Progress

ACTION REQUIRED

• The program's triage team are really unresponsive. The effort is in writing the report.
• Web App - Keep grinding. You were decent at SI. You just slipped big time on the reporting. You've managed to complete a bunch so .. a win!!
• APIs - I'm ok, but there's always more to learn
• GraphQL - Could use more practice, but so far so good.

---

IMPROVE MOBILE PEN TESTING SKILLS

Working to improve my experience with iOS and Android Mobile Pen Testing

STATUS

• In Progress

ACTION REQUIRED

• I have a few modules left, but been stymied by other work of higher priorities

---

GET MORE PROFICIENCY WITH NETWORK PEN TESTING

Took the class with TheCyberMentor (TCM) this time last year

STATUS

• Paused!

ACTION REQUIRED

• I need more "cubes" from HackTheBox to get back into network pen testing. In the meantime, I understand the fundamentals, and have a decent cheatsheet. A workflow SI never taught me.

---

LEARN AI PEN TESTING

Signed on to Wraith.sh

STATUS

• In Progress. So far, I've completed 8 of 11 modules and learned a bunch. There's a certification that I will look into a.s.a.p

ACTION REQUIRED

• Keep moving ... almost finished.
• Really leaning towards pivoting to AI Red Teaming.

---

LEARN CLOUD SECURITY

Need to make this a priority - AWS, GCP, or MS Azure

STATUS

• Not Started

ACTION REQUIRED

• Found the COURSERA class, but will get started when I've finished the AI Pen Testing module

---

READ MORE

Leaders are readers

STATUS

• In Progress

ACTION REQUIRED

• Since updating my library card, I checked out a book on "Hacking" which is a quick read. Will get more books as time allows.

---

WRITE MORE

Working on improving my craft

STATUS

• In Progress

ACTION REQUIRED

• (1st book) "Husb" is a work in progress. The last few chapters are a grind.
• (2nd book) "Cult*ure" is paused. Need to get back into it soon.
• SUBSTACK - started publishing more.
• MEDIUM - Without a membership, my work isn't getting monetized. But I have a few new followers.

---

GET OSCP

A must have certification for security contract work / pen testing

STATUS

• Not Started

ACTION REQUIRED

• The certification is cost-prohibitive and the idea of spending $2k on a maybe, or worse is just not worth it.
• Alternative certs like the eJPT and TNPT are affordable close-seconds.

---

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday August 31, 2026 - “Simple, Not Easy!” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Because Sunday is my new Monday, I kicked things off with a good workout and lots of productivity: finished the substack blog, finished the spanish slide deck for the week, finished the job scoping. Now (monday) I'm doing a deeper dive. Been hearing more Gen-X videos and the take-aways explain soooo much. Yes I have made mistakes, but even when I didn't, the answer to "why am I always getting picked for layoffs" is made clear. It was never about the dedication to the job. It was about the system and the bs rules in place. Which is what this entry will be dedicated to.

Words to live by ... Real solitude is being fully present with one's self, not out of necessity, but out of joy

On happier news! 2 interviews. One for a decent job, the other for a service bar. Random text

MONDAY

Affirmation: RELIABILITY WITHOUT VISIBILITY IS JUST FREE LABOR

The rules of Corporate America they don't tell you (the shortened version):

• Don't be the one that causes friction. Ie, don't f** up, catch attitude, cause problems, or make your boss look bad.
• Do what matters with high visibility.
• Build relationships with your boss and your boss' boss
• Build your narrative before someone else does. Don't just be good at your job, be irreplacable.
• Presence, not performance is the ultimate form of job security
• HR is NOT your friend or even your ally. They are risk mitigation agents working at the behest of the company.
• The game has always been running. Its not about competence or performance. Pure EGO

Alt news had an update that went ok. It was the first round and not a bot, for a job that paid really well and was hybrid.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: THE NECESSITY PRADOX - WHEN YOU DON'T 'NEED' YOU WILL GET

At work, or in the personal life, the simplest paradox holds true: when you are not needy or desparately looking for someone to validate or complete you, that's when you get the thing you want most. Where was this when I was going through my "thing" with Andrea. It wasn't love, it was the ego needing fulfillment.

Had a great interview for a service bartender position at a restaurant. I'm cool with the pay, but I do miss the camaraderie.

[UPDATE] Sent out my thank you note to the interviewer from Monday and got a 8:30pm email saying they went with someone else. Sucks, but whatever. I'm not about that corporate life any way.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: WHAT WAS MEANT FOR YOU WILL NOT PASS YOU BY

Woke up to a cloudy rainy day. I don't feel the slightest bit of sadness for not landing the job. While I am desperate for work, I'm not desperate to land in a bad spot and risk yet another layoff.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: HARD WORK DOES NOT GUARANTEE JOB SECURITY ANYMORE

Being too dependable or reliable - the "load bearing support" structure - means you will never get that promotion. It guarantees a layoff when re-orgs happen because your work is never seen or appreciated. The fix: do work that gets visible and tracked

How the rest of my day went:

• The win - Finally Solved the "Oracle of Whispers" ctf using the lessons from Module 8
• The loss - Disputed 4 tickets in the U-Test platform for 2 different apps, each having a valid case as to why they should be fixed.
• The grief - Etsy API bugcrowd ticket still not resolved.
• The sadness - did not get the bartending job

FRIDAY

Affirmation: SIMPLE, NOT EASY

The economic situation is beyond tight. Sleep is taking a beating. Feeling like the biggest asshole ever because I have to borrow from my son.

Life is feeling simple, but not easy. I'm still trying to figure out my new purpose as I come to realization I may never work in my sector again; aged out.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Awesome family .. and that my son has a reliable income. I owe this kid so much, not just money.
2. Grateful that, despite my short-comings, we have food in the 'fridge, a comfy bed, and a roof over our head.
3. Grateful for quality sleep. When I don't get it, life is the worst.

What We Loved

1. "Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself" - Rumi

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Google Cloud (Coursera) [Status: TO DO!] Found a cool security course that is closer to what I'm looking to learn. Will realistically get started when I'm done with Wraith.
2. Android PT - [Status: TO DO!] Still Behind on this!

---

IN PROGRESS

3. INNER WORK [Status: CONTINUAL!] Learned about workplace rules and where I could have done better
4. WEB PT - Upwork [Status: UNBLOCKED!] Need to get started on API; Filed bug is getting RAR'd.
5. AI PT - Wraith ... Finished Module No. 8 - needs a re-read, and finish the CTF; Unironically, the process for this solved "The Oracle of Whispers"
6. Write - "Husb" - next chapter [Status: IN PROGRESS!] ... need to make time for this
7. Write - Substack Article No. 4, pt. 2 [Status: IN PROGRESS!]
8. Reading "Hacking"[Status: IN PROGRESS!] on the Network Security chapter.

---

DONE

9. ...nothing this week

What We Longed For

1. A security consulting role: doing amazing things with great people for decent pay.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market - For the remainder of this year, this will be the statement. Hate everything about it.
2. The "Start A Business" advice: it is so lazy.
3. U-Test: I'm growing more and more disappointed with their triage team by the day. Every ticket becomes a fight. I can understand a poorly written bug, but a valid issue getting rejected because the TE cannot read the f**ng ticket the right way is bonkers!!

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday July 24, 2026 - “Peak Summer Folly” Ed.

Highlights for the week

As of this writing, FIFA 2026 Winner Spain dominated Argentina 1 - 0 in double overtime. Spain controlled the game from the beginning and had Argentina beat across all metrics like shots-on-goal, blocks, successful passes, and time of possession. Argentina did have the lead in most yellow cards, and 1 red. The collective sentiment is that the refs had helped Argentina - mostly Messi - get to the finals by way of missed calls they committed, and other calls in favor. They were the bullies that got their comeuppance. On to american football. #PhinsUp.

Week has ended as good as it started. 2 promising interviews lined up for next week. Fingers, toes, and all other possible appendages crossed.

Been seeing a lot of videos regarding GEN-X in the workplace and how we're quiting the rat race and I am nodding emphatically ... YES!! I need a job to pay the bills, but that's it.

You don't owe your employer loyalty. The reward for doing good work is getting more work. The reward for being reliable is being the ONLY one they call on.

And when you decide you no longer want that task, letting others solve the problem they started, you become a problem.

The more I reflect on my past employment, and recognize where I went wrong, the more I'm seeing the patterns with regard to THE SYSTEM. As I learned in this one video, the office politics are unavoidable by design. Say too much, you get labeled a nuisance or distraction. Say too little, and you become an unknown variable that gets a custom narrative. Do too much, and more is asked of you. Do too little, and you become disposable. The solution: DO JUST ENOUGH TO STAY EMPLOYED, AND BE DELIBERATE IN YOUR PERFORMANCE. MAKE YOUR BOSS LOOK GOOD, WHILE SOLVING THE PROBLEMS THAT NEED TO GET SOLVED. THAT'S IT.

MONDAY

Affirmation: SILENCE IS THE ONLY LANGUAGE THAT HAS NO INTERPRETATION

Saw a video this morning that had me thinking about workplace behavior and the patterns I've been dealing with my entire career. That is about being the silent professional. Back in my time, you did the job, you didn't need to be managed, and the quality of your work spoke for itself. Management could be trusted. They cared! In the last ten years, this has drastically changed. The key to success now is "visibility," where your manager has a full understanding of what you're about. Being quiet keeps the knowledge of who you are out of their decision-making process. You become an unknown variable, which only adds risk to your job tenure.

When management regards you as an unknown, they will fill the space with what they think they understand about you. The narrative is theirs. The opinion, however wrong, is in place. And your value has been determined by a rubric you had no idea existed. Hard work from an overperforming but quiet individual is inconsequential in a workplace culture that sets the rules of the game. And the rule is to keep your manager feeling needed (valued) by giving them just enough.

The goal is to be DELIBERATE & PURPOSEFUL .. not noisy. Your silence can become a liability when your manager can't speak on your behalf

TUESDAY

Affirmation: GEN-Xers ARE NOT QUITTING, THEY ARE JUST NOT PLAYING THE GAME ANYMORE

Solid video this morning regarding the fact we - Gen-X - are tasked with dealing with our elders, supporting our children, and spreading ourselves thin at work for a job that expects performance and loyalty but gives neither trust nor acknowledgement. Advancement just means more work and additional stress.

Tornado watch in effect for Morristown, NJ and Western New York, possibly Bronx and Westchester.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: VALUES TO LIVE BY:

• PURPOSE - For work being done, ask .. is this moving me towards my goal or building the life I want?
• FREEDOM - Creative freedom to do what needs doing how I see fit, and not be judged when mistakes happen.
• IMPACT - Make a difference that matters, and is not performative.
• HEALTH - Physical, spiritual, mental wellbeing matter more than a paycheck.
• FAMILY - Who I live and work for. The reason I grind!

THURSDAY

Affirmation: YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO BE EMOTIONALLY GUARDED OR AVAILABLE EVERY DAY

Protect your peace ... at all times, in all ways.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: YOUR WORK DOES NOT DEFINE YOUR IDENTITY

A job is what you do, not who you are. Your value is not tied to how available you are to your employer.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful to have an amazing wife who is really good with home economics. I don't think I would have accomplished as much.
2. Grateful for another week alive, the rainy days gave way to a gorgeous weekend. Proof that nothing bad lasts.
3. God speaks to me through YouTube sometimes, I swear. And I'm grateful that I get the lessons and blessings to recognize I'm not a failure.

What We Loved

1. It was a good week. Loved everything about it.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Google Cloud (Coursera) [Status: TO DO!] Signed up; Will realistically get started when I'm done with Wraith.
2. Android PT - [Status: TO DO!] Still Behind on this!
3. Read "Zoro" [Status: PAUSED!] Checked out a library book - "Hacking" and reading through that.

---

IN PROGRESS

4. AI PT - Wraith ... Finished Module No. 7, Started Module No. 8
5. WEB PT - Upwork [Status: UNBLOCKED!] Created account; Finished scope; Finished recon; Finished app mapping; Filed a bug regarding a unique profile being discoverable.
6. Write - "Husb" - next chapter ... Will look into this a.s.a.p .. perhaps over the weekend.
7. Write - Substack Article No. 4 ... Chipping away at this

---

DONE

8. INNER WORK [Status: CONTINUAL!] For this week: Watched a ton of videos and did some self-reflection. Found a book at the thrift store that could be valuable

What We Longed For

1. A great job as a Software Consultant. The reality is that I'm going to need Certifications to even get a resume looksie.
2. Leaning really hard on AI Red Teaming ... that looks like fun
3. QA Automation job where I can be left alone, and make good $$

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market. Every month more layoffs for no apparent reason other than "AI Investments" or "Right-sizing" .

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday July 17, 2026 - “Universe Speaking” Ed.

Highlights for the week

The mantra for the moment: relax and let the universe take the lead. Stay quiet, and the universe will speak to you. Be calm, and the universe will respond to you. It is the paradox of existence (wu wei).

We need to look at our imperfections as attributes. You are not something that needs to be corrected. You are someone that needs to be appreciated, celebrated, and loved. Allan Watts The tree doesn't waste its time trying to be a better tree! The bird does not waste its time trying to sing a better song. It has everything it needs. So do you.

Something else that caught my attention while listening to the great Allan Watts, for whom most of this post is referencing: Faith & Love are really 2 sides of the same coin. When you love unconditionally, truly, and deeply you allow yourself to be vulnerable to the willingness of facing your true self. You take the risk of exposure to reap the reward.

MONDAY

Affirmation: WHERE YOUR ATTENTION GOES YOUR ENERGY FLOWS - A. Watts

Be mindful of what you give focus to. You will radiate your energy in the wrong way if you let it; energy leaks are real.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: ALTHOUGH IT FEELS LIKE IT IS FALLING APART, IT IS THE UNIVERSE WORKING FOR YOU - A. Watts

Removing what wasn't working. Rebuilding what will work. Guiding you only when you let it.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: RELAX AND LET THE UNIVERSE MOVE YOU TOWARDS YOUR PURPOSE

It's a dance ... let her lead. Stop forcing purpose and it will find you.

Understeanding why you are the way you are won't change how you because that is who you were meant to be all along, quirks and all. Your imperfections are not bugs, but rather features!!

THURSDAY

Affirmation: YOUR ALREADY ARE WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO BECOME ... YOU JUST HAVEN'T NOTICED IT YET!!

The ocean does not ponder its existence trying to be wet.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: NOTHING LASTS ..AND YOU WILL BE FREE

The lesson the monks teach is about impermanence. That nothing good or bad lasts. It is a cycle, like the changing seasons. A long winter becomes spring. Spring becomes summmer. Then summer segues to fall and so on. The trees don't change. They adapt. The roots, trunk, and branches remain while the old leaves fall and the new ones arrive. So too must our perceptions be. Let go of the old and welcome the new.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Everything Good & Bad happening to me this week. It has all been a lesson and blessing.

What We Loved

1. A perfect way to close out the week: FAITH IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF ACTION, IT IS THE PRESENCE OF APPROPRIATE ACTION - A. WATTS
2. Faith is trusting the process; what happens to you is what was meant for you.
3. Every failure is a chance to see that you are not your successes. Your worth is not dependent on your performance.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. INNER WORK [Status: TO DO!] Slipped this week.
2. WEB PT - New Client [Status: TO DO!]
3. Google Cloud (Coursera) [Status: TO DO!] Keeping this here as a reminder.
4. Android PT - [Status: TO DO!] Fell Behind on this!
5. Read "Zoro" [Status: TO DO!] Fell Behind on this as well!

---

IN PROGRESS

6. Write - "Husb" - next chapter [Status: IN PROGRESS!]

   ---

   DONE

7. SQL Refresher [Status: DONE!] Used python + SQLite3 to create basic commands. May build this up in the following week .. if time allows.
8. Web PT - ETSY [Status: DONE!] Finished the Web; Finished 3rd Party Section; API is blocked not taking any further action. Finished the report.
9. AI PT - Wraith.sh Module-7 Insecure Output Handling [Status: DONE!] Reading through the "Defense" section, but module is done; practice CTF done; Knowledge Check done.
10. AI PT - Wraith.sh Module-6 Guardrail Bypass [Status: DONE!]
11. SUBSTACK ARTICLE 3 [Status: DONE!]

What We Longed For

1. A great job. Leaning towards AI Red Teaming as an alternative to Security Consulting.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market. More layoffs happening. Still more to come. Yet 5 CEOs are rigging the system for Billions and will eventually take the entire system down.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday July 10, 2026 - “GØØALs!!” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Officially 13 months since my untimely departure. The job market has gotten progressively worse. Having swallowed my pride, I had to borrow money from my son and managed to get the rent paid. The other solution that has presented itself is to take out yet another credit card and attempt to transfer the balances from the one to the other. The debt I was meticulously resolving is back. I'm beginning to wonder of my career is officially over.

As a side note, I'm piecing together an idea for a personal business. We'll see how it goes with this one person that reached out on reddit and plans to revisit the request on 7/17. Not holding my breath.

MONDAY

Affirmation: COLLAPSE IS THE ONLY WAY THE OLD CAN MAKE WAY FOR THE NEW

The ancient chinese philosophy holds true, for my personal and professional life. At 51, it is time to rebuild myself and what I want for the rest of my days. QA was never the goal, but Cybersecurity is super-saturated. Writing has always been by strength, despite what the CEO of SI said. I will plan to make more time for it.

I am surrendering my will to the universe. Up to this point, it stands to reason that I've been forcing what was never meant to be. Like what happened with Andrea - the tighter I tried to hold on to that feeling, the worse it became for me. No more! I'm not giving up, but I'm not forcing the matter anymore. I'm just going to accept what I am given and make the most of it.

On the homefront, the AC unit still remains not fixed. The Super took a look but did not add much to what was already known. The gym has a leak and I wish I hadn't attempted to dry the leaking water. It caused a tiny chip in the paint. That being said, the area is warped and needs to be fixed anyway.

Ended a productive day getting everything I needed to get done DONE. Finished a Substack article, "Husb" outline, Module 4 & 5, and the jobs.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: LIFE PRESENTS ITSELF WHEN YOU STOP TRYING TO DRAG THE FUTURE INTO THE PRESENT BEFORE IT IS READY - A Watts

Second night in a row that sleep has been a drag. I go to bed fine, but I don't feel rested when I wake up. Thinking it was because of my computer use. Needed to get things done! Tonight, I will NOT do anything. I will go to bed at a proper time and sleep like a king.

Kicked off the new workout. I like the structure of it so far.

Don't plan to get much done today. I got scheduled to go to the dentist, which cuts into the middle portion of my day. Plan to spend 2hrs of solid grammar education with son tomorrow. (2pm) ... [UPDATE] Dental appointment moved to 11:30 Wednesday due to a building collapsing at 40th Street 3rd Avenue on the East side.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: TOLD THE WORLD ... LOOSEN YOUR GRIP

Stop forcing the issue. Purpose will find you.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: IT IS NEVER AS BAD AS YOU THINK IT IS .. SOMEONE ELSE ALWAYS HAS IT WORSE!

Another day where jobs were scarce, opportunities were scant, and nothing got done. While I did finish the grammar lessons with my son, the Pen Test has fallen by the wayside to the point I've completely lost momentum to keep going. I'm ready to start a new one a.s.a.p. And with the amounts of complaints I've seen in the reddit sub, the motivation to keep going is waning. AI is where I plan to keep going. Cloud is a close second.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: THE UNIVERSE RESPONDS ACCORDINGLY

So .. yeah! I hijacked my sleep last night, for my viewing of adult content. I'm partially disappointed in myself for breaking old promises, but I'm also giving myself the allowance; a pass. The stress of 13 months unemployed, money running out, an empty refrigerator, and everything else scraping by is tiresome. I am not proud of my behavior, nor am I happy that I fell short of my standards. I will work to do better, and be better. And to hold the line. It's just too much at the moment!

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful for a comfy bed .. but I need to get a good night's rest.
2. Grateful that I have my health, faculties, and limbs. Others have it far worse.
3. Grateful to have heard the universe talking and reminding me to hold the line; stay disciplined; stay focused.

What We Loved

1. Cookie loaf .. dough made by me, baked by Melissa! So yummy!

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Cloud Pen Testing - Google Cloud [Status: TO DO!]
2. Azure [Status: TO DO!] Leaving this here as a reminder.
3. READ Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: TO DO!]

---

IN PROGRESS

4. INNER WORK [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Continued self-reflection
5. "Husb." [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Next chapter .. tbd!
6. Web App PT - [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Etsy has been on pause for some time. [UPDATE!] Learned that burp is getting blocked. Will try over the weekend before pivoting to API.
7. Android PT - HexTree Android Bindermodule [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Need to bump this to Thursday.

---

DONE

8. AI Pen Test - Module No. 6 [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Started this and read it through to the end. I had fun solving the challenge. May need to re-read.
9. AI Pen Test - Module No. 5 [Status: DONE!] A lot of reading. A lot to remember.
10. AI Pen Test - Module No. 4 [Status: DONE!] Completely re-read it and solved the practice challenge in one try.
11. QA DAY - "SevereQA" business idea [Status: DONE!] Have all the proper documentation set.
12. Stubstack Article No. 2 [Status: Done!]
13. Playwright CLI - C# [Status: DONE!]

What We Longed For

1. A good paying job in tech. The outlook is getting worse by the moment.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market and everything about the layoffs being blamed by AI when really it was about overhiring, market right-sizing, and cost-cutting measures.
2. Outsourcing / Offshoring of jobs. FFS when will this stop!! Probably when we have enough robots to get the job done at minimal cost.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday July 02, 2026 - “United States is 250 Years Old ... yippee!!” Ed.

Highlights for the week

The theme of this week: work on your goals, stay disciplined, keep your promises, and honor your values .. this will lead to character and integrity Random text

MONDAY

Affirmation: GET AWAY TO THE ROCKAWAYS

Nothing got done as we (family and I) spent the entire day out at Far Rockaway. On the minus - everything is behind. On the plus - got to see a whale.

REBUILD YOUR LIFE!! Don't wish it were easy, wish you were better

TUESDAY

Affirmation: EVERY SUNRISE IS A NEW OPPORTUNITY FOR CHANGE

Wake up! WAKE UP TO YOUR PURPOSE! Decide to start new. New choices. New ideas. New goals.

Keep your promises to yourself. No slipping, even when temptation is the itch you need to scratch. Growth is a choice. Rebuild your mindset!! 

You are not trapped by yesterday's mistakes. Take reaponsibility and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: ACT AS IF NOTHING MATTERS ... BECAUSE IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS ... IT DOESN'T - A. Watts

It is we who put up barriers to being, assigning purpose to everything; being too strict instead if playing.

wu wei is the art of grasping more by relaxing. The tighter you close your fist, the less you hold. Only by letting go will you be able attain more.

The paradox of keeping calm is that the less you chase purpose, the easier it will find you. Don't cling to love, instead let it be on its own.

Stop clutching to perfection .. it leads to frustration.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: WHEN WE LET GO OF TRYING TO MATTER THEN WILL WE BEGIN TO SHINE - A. WATTS

The whole point of the music of life is not the prefection of the notes, but enjoyment of the melody.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: NEW MONTH, NEW YOU

The moment you take ownership of who you are and who you want to become, releasing the tight grip on identity leads to greater potential. Like an archer who draws the bow back. When you let go of all your old issues and negative self-talk, then and only then can you truly find yourself propelled forward.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful that my son is thriving in his YouTube channel. It helped pay for the rent.
2. Grateful that I get to wake up and get after it.
3. Grateful for every day. Each is a blessing.

What We Loved

1. This week was a weird week full of odd energy.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Cloud Pen Testing - Google Cloud [Status: TO DO!] The environment build-out was not possible. Found a cool course to start.
2. Azure [Status: TO DO!] Leaving this here as a reminder.
3. AI Pen Test - Module No. 5 [Status: TO DO!] Need to re-read Module No. 4
4. QA DAY - "SevereQA" business idea [Status: TO DO!] Leaving this here as another reminder.
5. READ Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: TO DO!] I bumped this for something AI-related.
6. Stubstack Article No. 3 [Status: TO DO!] Will get to this over the weekend.
7. "Husb." [Status: TO DO!] Next chapter .. tbd!

---

IN PROGRESS

8. INNER WORK [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Continued self-reflection
9. Web App PT - [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Not a lot done this week. Recon is completed. Finished mapping the app. I did find 3 ports opened, but retesting found them closed.
10. Android PT - HexTree Android Bindermodule [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Had zero time to get this done. Will probably move this to the weekend.

---

DONE

11. Playwright CLI - C# [Status: DONE!] Not planning to add more, unless I make time to keep building this out. I just wanted to learn the syntax.

What We Longed For

1. A great job at Mandiant (google) doing the thing. Otherwise, I'm still waiting to find my passion! [UPDATE] Not selected for the job .. which is what I came to expect. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I applied to TrustedSec, another solid fit.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market and the fact we have a failed leader that won't fix it.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday June 26, 2026 - “Fathers & Sons” Ed.

Highlights for the week

A great week kicked off by celebrating father's day and calling the old man. I've made peace with the past. The daily inner work is working!! We did have a great conversation about random things and it was good to hear he's doing well. Holding no grudges is so freeing.

Having broken the generational curse is the single greatest accomplishment of my life. I see that manifested in my relationship with my son. He's doing well, smart as f**, and is not burdened with the traumas I have had to deal with. Our relationship is tight, and he knows he can come to me whenever he wants. Another New Year's resolution accomplished.

MONDAY

Affirmation: REFUSE TO ACCEPT WEAK THINKING AND WEAK HABITS - J. Rohn

Your future is determined by what you consistently do. And what you do is determined by the mind. Be focused, think firmly, act consistently and become better.

The mind is powerful and what you allow to remain becomes habit and habit becomes character.

The day came and went, the priority items were addressed, but I still haven't started my Pen Test. On to Tuesday.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: I WILL NOT QUIT UNTIL I AM LIVING THE LIFE I DREAM OF

A tremendous daily affirmation. 100% this ... do not let your inner bitch convince you can't. You can and you will.

I woke up feeling a bit out-of-sorts ... somewhat melancholic. Movement in the gym helped. Job search is still a drag. And I finally got around to pen testing.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: THE UNIVERSE RESPONDS TO THE PERSON THAT REFUSES TO BE DENIED!

Another great quote from Les Brown. I'm sensing a theme regarding the need to shrug off malaise and keep grinding. Make that dream happen:

• write that book
• start that business
• get that job
• travel

THURSDAY

Affirmation: N/A

A solid "Leg Day" at the gym. Made good progress on the pen test. Skipped learning AI and Android for the moment. Instead, I picked up a UTest Test cycle which was super-easy.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: N/A

House-cleaning .. so not a lot got done from a programming, testing, writing, reading perspective.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful that my father is doing well and that I don't hate him. The conversation was cool.
2. Grateful that I get to wake up, workout, and live in my moment.
3. Grateful that I am healing internally. The inner self-reflection is helping a lot. I've made peace with my past and consoled the boy that felt bad for failing.
4. Grateful that I have a wonderful wife and amazing son. Getting to reflect on my past deeds and apologizing to her for my wrongs was a huge step in maturity. We're so good together!!

What We Loved

1. This week was pretty uneventful, so not a lot to say that WOW'd me.
2. Loved working through Spanish lessons with my son.
3. Loved getting past my hangups and calling the father.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Cloud Pen Testing - Google Cloud [Status: TO DO!] Maybe I will build out the environment as a first step.
2. Azure [Status: TO DO!] Leaving this here as a reminder.
3. QA DAY - "SevereQA" business idea [Status: TO DO!] Leaving this here as another reminder.
4. READ Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: TO DO!] I bumped this for something AI-related.

---

IN PROGRESS

5. INNER WORK [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Continued self-reflection and overcoming my inner sloth. Slipped a bit in terms of the adult content .. no bueno!
6. Playwright CLI - C# [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Got a lot done for unit tests for distinct components. I may just cap it here, in favor of other projects of higher value.
7. Android PT - HexTree  Android Bindermodule [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Didn't have time to get started on this, but leaving it as in Progress for now.
8. Web App PT - [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Finally got around to this and making great progress. The site is huuuuge!!

---

DONE

9. Substack Article 2 [Status: DONE!]

What We Longed For

1. A consulting job in security. Strongly considering AI red teaming.

What We Loathed

1. The 2026 Job Market and everything about it.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday June 19, 2026 - “Birthday Week” Ed.

Highlights for the week

POWER TO THE GEMINIS

Another week come and gone. No real progress on the job hunt. I want to believe in the power of positive thinking, but there's also reality. Is this even working?!

Truth is, to manifest success I need to believe in what I want .. thoughts become reality! positive thinking leads to positive actions which creates positive results.

The biggest highlight of the week is the celebration (on 6/18) of the New York Knicks historic win over the San Antonio Spurs in Game 5 of the 2026 NBA Championship.

As I reflect on the past 25 years, I've been noticing a key pattern I can't seem to distance myself from. A pattern where, no matter how hard I try to climb up, I'm always getting pushed down. The evidence is as follows:

• Life - father wasn't much of a father, role model, or anything. He preferred the avenue of corporal punishment over proper instruction when it came to literally everything. My only other role model died early. And later in life, when I sought out mentors to help with my career aspirations, they failed me too.
• Sports - Tried out for football and baseball in HS when I had no business being there. Was on track for 2 seasons but barely did well in shot & discus (no coaches). Fencing in college was awesome!
• Dating - Failed at that in HS and College. Had a terrible prom experience.
• School - Did ok in HS, but failed the classes I needed for College. Failed the Bio/Pre-Med program. Barely got above 3.0 in English .. zero mentorship to guide me.
• Social - didn't really fit in in HS. Got rejected a bunch for fraternities in College. Joined a few clubs and did well there. Otherwise, struggled to fit in.
• Plan-A applied to the Air Force knowing this was going to be my life goal ... got rejected by the Staff Sergeant for health reasons.
• Work - barely able to land a job while in College due to schedule.
• Plan-B, C, D ...:
• When I did, held on to that bad boy for years. It was my everything after I graduated. Then I got fired for something that wasn't my fault and drifted for the many years that followed.
• Lingered in food service until I was in my 30s. Tried some bs corporate gig as a documentation clerk but that didn't work either. I was an idiot then.
• Got my A+ thinking this was going to be the start of my tech career .. didn't get very far with it. Had no money to pursue more.
• Tried desktop publishing and didn't get far with that either. I needed Quark - a software program that was way too expensive.
• Eventually landed a course in Devry, took out a plethora of loans, and so began my second career track in IT. Overall, the school did very little to prepare me for a career in Security, or web development for that matter. Once again, I was out in the workforce unprepared, in debt, and no viable experience to work with.
• Tried freelancing as a web developer, and I had some clients. Learned a lot about managing the project from start to finish. Sadly, my web dev skills left a lot to be desired.
• Tried some SEO job ... didn't take it serious and got shown the door.
• Tried a survey developer company that wanted me to also be their internal IT guy for all things. That didn't work out either.
• Landed a QA role with zero experience. Learned everything I could on the job, zero guidance from others. Things were going well until a new manager and a restructure. Got the boot. Landed a better job at a quaint start up and became the "voice of experience" in QA. That was an awesome four years. Then priorities shifted and because I had no viable automation experience, got shown the door. After 4 months, I landed a role at a digital agency and that was awesome until it wasn't. A loss of a major client lead to mass job cuts and I was one of them. Another few months out of work and I landed a great gig that didn't last long (quit a toxic manager). A few months after that, landed a great job that lasted a couple of years until several rounds of layoffs found me on the unemployment line once again. Several months and another job, and it was the best paying gig I had until a new CTO joined and eventually cleaned house. Our entire team was disbanded. And so was the beginning of the end for QA for me.
• Two years of unemployment and hardcore focus on pen testing (self-taught) and I found a mentor that brought me to a great job that lasted all of 9 months. This one hurt the most!!

To quote Jim Rohn, WHAT CHALLENGES YOU, CHANGES YOU -- a great mantra to begin the next phase of my life. I want the back-half to matter.

MONDAY

Affirmation: THE LIFE YOU WANT IS BASED ON THE ACTIONS YOU TAKE TODAY

Imagine the life you want. What does good look like? What will it take to get you there? What actions are you tak8ng to make that happen?

TUESDAY

Affirmation: ACTION FIRST .. THEN EXPERIENCE .. FINALLY CONFIDENCE

Confidence grows because of action. Small daily habits done consistently over time produce tangiable results.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: A DREAM WITHOUT ACTION DIES

Words to live by - Success is not something you wish for, its something you work for.

Who do you want to be? Success begins in the mind so decide to think positive thoughts.

Setbacks are wisdom; feedback, not failure.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: BELIEVE IN WHAT IS POSSIBLE

If the NY Knicks have shown, it is that grit and tenacity are the keys to victory. In several games they were behind by double-digit points, and yet somehow they managed to pull it off. In Game 5, it looked like they might lose. Thanks to the heroics of Jalen Brunson and the rest of the squad, they pulled off the victory. He alone scored an individual record-breaking 45 points while the rest of the team had scored a combined 49 points.

On a personal projects side, I've not gotten much done. See the breakdown below.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: CELEBRATE EVEN THE SMALLEST OF WINS!

The world, the economy, and every other personal circumstance is against you. Celebrate when you get a moment of victory, even in the smallest of things. This will help you keep going when everything feels like it is not working.

What We’re Grateful For

1. I've highlighted every day what I'm grateful for, so I will encapsulate my gratitude by saying I am grateful for everything: getting the chance to celebrate another birthday; achieving my fitness goals; advancing in my learning; and getting to wake up in a loving home with a wonderful family

What We Loved

1. Going to the DAILY SHOW on my birthday. That was a pleasant surprise.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Cloud Pen Testing - Google Cloud [Status: TO DO!] | Azure [Status: TO DO!]
2. AI/LLM Pen Testing - Wraith.sh [Status: TO DO!] Module-4
3. INNER WORK [Status: TO DO!!] Rollover from last week. I keep sleeping on this.
4. QA DAY - "SevereQA" business idea [Status: TO DO!!] Writing up the business plan and how to use agents.
5. Substack 2nd Article [Status: TO DO!] Have outline, need to get typing.
6. Web App PT - Started on Etsy [Status: TO DO!] No progress this week.
7. Android PT - HexTree [Status: TO DO!] Android Bindermodule .. No progress this week.

---

IN PROGRESS

8. QA DAY - Playwright CLI + C-Sharp [Status: In Progress!] Set up the environment, have a unit test in place. Need to build this out more.
9. Writing - "Husb" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] .. No progress this week. Saving it for the weekend. So far, Lilith is in the depths of hell.
10. READ Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] No progress this week.

---

DONE

11. AI/LLM Pen Testing - Wraith.sh [Status: DONE!] Module-2: Indirect Prompt Injection
12. AI/LLM Pen Testing - Wraith.sh [Status: DONE!] Module-3: System Prompt Injection
13. Web App PT - Pinterest [Status: BLOCKED!] Still no resolution.

What We Longed For

1. As always a consulting job, making good money, doing great work, surrounded by smart but chill people I can learn from.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 .. not just the job market, but literally everything: the economy, our president, our congress, our financial institutions, and the tech sector. It's all one big mess and getting worse by the week.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday June 12, 2026 - “Chillin' & Grillin' ” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Another week has come and gone and not a lot of progress made, for reasons that have more to do with conflicting priorities than actual laziness. Simply put, personal errands and a trip to the doctor's cut into what I had scheduled for the day, and the rhythm for getting things done fell off.

The good news is I hit my weight loss goals (within 4 lbs.) and all vitals came back great.

The not-so-good news is there hasn't been much activity on the job hunt. A couple of rejections, but otherwise .. barely a whisper.

Critical issue is not knowing where the money for next month is going to come from.

MONDAY

Affirmation: DON'T LET EXCUSES STEAL YOUR POTENTIAL

Another gem from Jim Rohn. When you make excuses, you chip away at your potential to the point you have nothing left.

Small daily habits done consistently over time lead to success.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: DISCIPLINE IS THE BRIDGE BETWEEN GOALS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Build trust in yourself by keeping your word. Do the thing you set out to do. Wake up early, get sh** done, make sh** happen, reflect on what worked and where to improve, then repeat.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: GEN-X GETS IT DONE!!

Went to the doctor's so not much to write about to day. Focused on Pen Test afterwards.

UPDATE - Had a stellar visit the the Nurse Practitioner (not quite doctor) and she was cool. Nearly hit my weight goal and all vitals look good. Scheduled a follow-up for July and might need a dental visit soon.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS .. REBUILD!!

For personal and professional reasons, this applies.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS IS NOT IN SEEKING MORE, BUT IN DEVELOPING THE CAPACITY TO ENJOY LESS - Socrates

• Simplicity: Socrates emphasized that true happiness comes from appreciating what we have rather than constantly seeking more.
• Self-Control: Happiness is achievable through rational control over desires and focusing on the soul rather than material possessions.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful for another solid week of learning, doing, and growing.
2. Grateful to be going to my doctor's (PCP) finally, after waiting for so long.
3. Grateful for an amazing health result. The months of consistent working out, eating clean, and sleeping well are paying off.

What We Loved

1. Wraith.sh is really fun

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Cloud Pen Testing - Google Cloud [Status: TO DO!] | Azure [Status: TO DO!]
2. INNER WORK [Status: TO DO!!] Rollover from last week. I keep sleeping on this.

---

IN PROGRESS

3. Android PT - HexTree [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Android Bindermodule .. working through it.
4. Web App PT - Started on Etsy [Status: TEMP BLOCKED!] Had to rebuild Kali .. In looking to make room on my machine, I may have indirectly deleted a dependency tied to the machine.
5. QA DAY - "SevereQA" business idea [Status: TO DO!!] Writing up the business plan and how to use agents.
6. Writing - "Husb" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Didn't get to it. Saving it for the weekend.
7. READ Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Almost finished with Part-III.

---

DONE

9. Substack Account [Status: DONE!] Profile finished; Article Published; Posted to Linked In: weak engagement.
10. AI/LLM Pen Testing - Wraith.sh [Status: 90% DONE!] Module-2: Indirect Prompt Injection .. not finished. Can't get the flag, and I need to finish the questions.
11. QA DAY - Playwright CLI [Status: BLOCKED!] // Appium Practice - iOS & Android [Status: DONE!]
12. Web App PT - Pinterest [Status: BLOCKED!] Still no resolution.
13. Google Project Management [Status: NOT DOING!!] At $49 / mo. not worth the time .. for now.

What We Longed For

1. A security consulting job.
2. More time. This week was an absolute bust. I don't think I got anything done, and only filed 2 job applications.

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market .. bad keeps getting worse!

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday June 5, 2026 - “Summer Lovin' ” Ed.

Highlights for the week

The idea of the "Golden Bhudda" rings ever true. Why work so hard to be someone ideal, when it was inside you all along. You just have to chip away at the bs, the trauma, the hurts, and all the behaviors that have got in your way.

June 6th makes 12 months since my last paycheck. It's been an instructive year. A necessary year. And a self-improving year. I don't miss the day-to-day commute to work, or the stress of dealing with management. I do miss pay and benefits. SI lost a couple of big fish this week so I don't feel too bad about losing my job. I do miss the work. Consulting is where I see myself. In the meantime, I keep applyin', and I keep tryin', but the man keeps denyin' me.

MONDAY

Affirmation: GET S** DONE, MAKE S** HAPPEN!

Completed my assessment for the year. Still so much to learn, but I've made great strides. The negative self-talk has improved. As has the areas where I failed at SI. By slowly building out the new microhabits, I'm overwriting the old ones. Consistency is key, and disciplined action is how I've been living. I will keep working hard at being 1% better ever .. single .. day.

I've reset my standards, and since BVI, have made every effort to live by them. Small daily decisions done consistency that move me towards my purpose.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: I CAN DO ALL THINGS IN HIM WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH

Philippians 4:15; Love this quote. The days are going by so fast, and I don't have much more positive news on the job front. Should I even bother starting my own business?

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: THAT WHICH WAS MEANT FOR YOU SHALL NOT PASS YOU BY!

Not a lot got done today. Did finally get around to working with my son on his learning. Making great progress in Spanish. Started the AI Pen Test module #2.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: "MAKE THE DECISION AT YOUR STRONGEST, EXECUTE EVEN AT YOUR WEAKEST" - D. Goggins

Heard the great pod from Goggins. The one thing he said (of many things) was that the mind is your ally, and enemy. It will betray you when you are at your weakest by allowing you to slip in to comfort. Negotiating for rest over work. Doing what feels safe over what stretches you. And it will replay all your failings as a reminder of where the dragons are. That's when you have to override that voice with a stronger voice that says, "not today, bitch! ... QUIT? Not today, bitch! Skip the workout? Not today, bitch!"

FRIDAY

Affirmation: BE MORE AWESOME!!

Your brain keeps showing you the fails. Use it as a learning tool. Study the pattern, fix yourself, and RISE!! Healing has been the major factor.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful to have had these past 12 months to really truly explore what I want for myself and my professional career.
2. Grateful for the wisdom and guidance to have been able to mentor others. Met some great people and hope to land a mentor soon.
3. Grateful for the family. Always, it's about being stronger together.
4. Grateful to be living my truth and keeping to my standards: Staying focused; Keeping faithful; Honoring my family; And now to fix my finanances; So I might find fulfilment.

What We Loved

1. Chill week, so I'm always loving the discipline and dedication to get 1% better every single day.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Google Project Management [Status: TO DO!!] Thinking about this a lot.
2. INNER WORK [Status: TO DO!!] Rollover from last week. I keep sleeping on this.
3. QA DAY - "SevereQA" business idea [Status: TO DO!!] Writing up the business plan and how to use agents.
4. Cloud Pen TestingGoogle Cloud [Status: TO DO!] | Azure [Status: TO DO!]

---

IN PROGRESS

1. Web App PT - Pinterest [Status: BLOCKED!] Still no resolution
2. QA DAY - Playwright CLI [Status: BLOCKED!] Ran through my tokens and have to wait for June to reset.
3. AI/LLM Pen Testing - Wraith.sh [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Module-2: Indirect Prompt Injection .. not finished.
4. Cloud Pen Testing - AWS [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Didn't get to it this week.
5. Android PT - HexTree [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Android Bindermodule .. working through it.
6. READ Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Almost finished with Part-III.
7. Writing - "Husb" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Didn't get to it. Saving it for the weekend.
8. Side Hustle Substack Account [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Near-complete. Lots of distractions this week.

---

DONE

1. Appium w. Python - Practice [Status: DONE!]. Resolved the blocker issue with iOS and finished some simple tests.




What We Longed For

1. A great job in consulting.



What We Loathed

1. The job market in 2026. As of this writing, well over 1 Million jobs lost, including 70,000 in IT. And the layoffs keep happening.

2025 - 2026 UNEMPLOYMENT YEAR IN REVIEW

THE CURRENT JOB SITUATION FOR 2026

To date:

• Number of jobs applied to: 371
• Number of interviews: 0
• Number of referrals used: 2
• Number of rejections: 86
• Number of non-responses: 132

CONCLUSION

So far, the job market in 2026 is a disaster. AI is just the excuse for executive mismanagement. It is all "right-sizing" to return employee headcount to a proper level.

Linked in, Indeed and most of the other job boards just don't work anymore.

Referrals only get you so far.

---

THE GOALS FOR 2026 .. and beyond!!

1. Certification Path: eJPT → PNPT → OSCP → CISSP Total Cost: $3500 (as of this writing)
2. Employment Ideal: Security Consultant at Mandiant (or a similar company)
3. Employment Alternative: Purple Team - but I have to get fluid with Blue Team.
4. Employment Alternative 2: QA Consultant using AI to spearhead testing efficiencies in Fiverr.
5. Continued Writing - Get published by year's end, or come close to it

Best to remember that, a mistake repeated more than twice is a habit. And we need to replace bad habits with good ones.

---

PERSONAL ASSESSMENT | JUNE 2025 - JUNE 2026

This time last year, we were handed our hat at Secure Ideas and shown the door. It has been 12 months since and this assessment will assess how much we've progressed since our "untimely departure". The question to answer: What kind of person must I become to achieve all that I want?

In 2025, You were terminated from employment due to performance issues and falling well-below expectations for the role.

QUESTION The problem was your company never properly assessed your current level and proper course. How have you corrected that?

ANSWER I have been consistent in addressing shortcomings. The list is as follows:

• AI SEC. Working through the modules on https://wraith.sh ... so much fun!!
• CLOUD SEC. Currently working through learning Cloud Security. An area that I have no interest in.
• MOBILE SEC. Also learning about mobile pen testing on Android .. a deep dive using a module I found online .. and it is free!
• NETWORK SEC. I was weak at Network Pen Testing, so I completed a course with TCM and learned more in three weeks than I had the entire time at SI. [TASK: Need more practice and will renew my HTB subscription when money gets right]
• API SEC.I was weak with API Pen Testing, so I completed a course with API Sec and gained far more insight to OWASP TOP 10 For API, learned new tools to use. I would love a Pro license to really improve. This was where I severly lacked.
• WEB APP SEC. I was improving with reporting, but I have since conducted several pen tests (really bug bounties) and leveraged AI to improve my writing skills. My reports have improved as well. Proud of their quality. You also recognized where you bombed from a component testing pov and have made great strides in improving.
• VOLUNTEERING Had the opportunity to work with BSidesNYC last year. Not a lot of opportunities have presented themselves. Still early in the year.
• BLOGGING Been steady with this. Might move to Substack.
• MENTORING Had mentees come and go. Such is the nature of work.

WINS

Overall, I feel I possess the personability to make consultancy a viable career path the rest is fixable. Failure has been the greatest teacher, but it does not define me.

OPPORTUNITIES

Still looking to maintain consistency and discipline with my day-to-day habits. Below are some areas where I still need to improve:

CONTINUED PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

I will endeavor to continue working on myself in the following manner:

1. Continue to exhibit extreme levels of integrity through consistent actions done daily.
2. Strive to be reliable; the person they can count on.
3. Strive for Excellence .. At all times, in all ways, with the people that matter most.
4. Be diligent, disciplined, and dedicated.
5. Be passionate and positive .. the anchor in the storm.
6. Continue to work on contributing and to learn from others.

CONTINUED PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

1. I will continue my endeavors and practice more. Learn from where I failed and keep celebrating the wins.
2. I will work hard to stay faithful to my personal standards and be 1% better every single day.
3. On more than one occassion I failed to live up to the expectations put forth by my job. A mistake I will never make again now that I have a renewed set of standards to live up.
4. Did I produce excellent work? No. But I am working at making sure this never happens again. 100% maximum effort every day.
5. Next opportunity, I will work to ask better questions and be more vocal when needs are not met. This was a huge problem at SI .. the absolute lack of onboarding and no one training me.

ADD VALUE TO THE MARKETPLACE

1. Articulate my value by continuing to learn and grow, personally and professionally.
2. I will strive to keep doing high-value work, and spend time on the work that moves me forward .. like reading more.

IMPROVE NETWORKING

1. I need to work on connecting with the right people, not just collecting Linked In invites.
2. I should reach out to my network on Ln more. Seems like everyone is heads-down doing their own thing.
3. As someone who has trust issues, and has been burned by 2 mentors, I don't see myself looking to land another one any time soon.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday May 30, 2026 - “Memorial Week” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Gloomy start to the week. Cold, gray, and lots of rain which gave way to a gorgeous sunny day. The perfect metaphor for how things, including this unemployment, will turn around for the better.

This is another banger of a quote from Simon Sinek, "Leadership isn’t about being in charge; it’s about taking care of those in your charge." -- it might just reshape my approach to leadership. I've always been the person to take on the lead of a project. I was a Maitre D' at HTH, then later a personnel manager. I've been in lead roles more time than I care and all it taught me was that you have 2 bosses: the people you report to, and your subordinates. You have to keep both happy to keep your job. So annoying!!

MONDAY

Affirmation: INCOMPETENCE SHPULD NOT BE REWARDED WITH BLIND LOYALTY " - Lord Vary , GOT

Given the current state of the job market, and the toxicity of the workplace, one can only wonder what the new expectations are when the trust between employer and employee has been irrevocably severed.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: ONCE YOU KNOW YOUR WHY YOU BECOME UNSHAKEABLE - S. Sinek

One of the greatest pearls of wisdom from listening to the video this morning, during my workout, was this statement: "Failure is the raw material success is made from." My entire life, from high school sports, to college, and beyond, I've always felt like a failure. I drifted from job to job with no real sense of purpose. Now I'm learning, you have to fail 9 times to get to the 1 success. The key is to NOT repeat the same failures but rather learn from them. And if a new one presents itself, embrace it. Recognize it as your instructor. I should learn to ask myself: What is it teaching me? or What could I have done better?.

In the end, failure doesn't define you ... it refines you.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: POSITIVITY IS DISCIPLINED MOVING TOWARDS PURPOSE

Small, daily habits done consistently over time. Strength, optimism, and presence.

What you tell yourself daily. What you commit to. Stay rooted, even when it is hard.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: LIFE IS A MIRROR NOT A WINDOW

Your world is a reflection of who you are. You can choose accept it or you can change it.

There are times when thoughts of her enter my mind and I think - "what if" - but then I laugh because we just weren't going to make it. The fantasy of who she was is not the reality of who she is. She's a cat person, I love dogs. She's jewish, I'm far from it. Our cultures are way off. And for all I know, she would be a bad cook. Or not, who knows. I am just so grateful for God bringing her into my life and teaching me what love feels like. And I realize now that she was just one of many incidents that were a reflection of what I wanted.

Fast-forward to now, my unemployment situation is trash, my marriage is at an amicable stand-still in the romance deptartment, and the world doesn't make sense.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: THE PERSON YOU WANT TO STRIVE TO BECOME IS THE PERSON YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN!

As I was cleaning the apartment, I was listening to a brilliant podcast and there was a mention of the Golden Bhudda. The story was that to protect it from thieves, the citizens of the town where it sat covered the statue in dirt. When theievs and passers-by looked on, all they saw was a mound of dirt. Centuries passed and the dirt hardened. One day someone accidentally chipped a corner of the mound and found a bit of gold shining through.

The metaphor: There's a lot a good man (like me) has to chip away at to get to the gold that lies underneath. There is gold within me, just have to overcome the traumas, heal the hurts, and stay consistent and true to my values. So far, so good!

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful for another awesome week of working out, staying healthy, sleeping well, and eating clean.
2. Grateful for listening to a ton of motivational podcasts and videos. The lessons are the blessing.
3. Grateful for a loving family ... the only thing that really matters in this insane world.

What We Loved

1. Outside of not working, loved everything about staying faithful, staying focused, and remaining true to myself. Even when the temptations are everywhere.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Google Project Management [Status: TO DO!!] Thinking about this a lot.
2. INNER WORK [Status: TO DO!!] Rollover from last week. I keep sleeping on this.
3. QA DAY - "SevereQA" business idea [Status: TO DO!!] Writing up the business plan and how to use agents.
4. Cloud Pen TestingGoogle Cloud [Status: TO DO!] | Azure [Status: TO DO!]

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IN PROGRESS

1. Web App PT - Pinterest [Status: BLOCKED!] Both test accounts got suspended by Pinterest Admin. Submitted a ticket to BC Support team.
2. QA DAY - Playwright CLI [Status: BLOCKED!] Ran through my tokens and have to wait for June to reset.
3. AI/LLM Pen Testing - Wraith.sh [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Completed M1. On to M2
4. Cloud Pen Testing - AWS [Status: IN PROGRESS!!]
5. Android PT - HexTree [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Working through Android Intent Module. Staring on Android Bindermodule.
6. READ Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Almost finished with Part-III ... need to make time to get this done.
7. Writing - "Husb" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] On my list for Saturday (5/30).
8. Side Hustle Substack Account [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Near-complete. Will port over my Medium content soon enough.

---

DONE

1. Appium w. Python - Practice [Status: DONE!]. The app is straight forward on android; blocked on iOS.



What We Longed For

1. A good job, with great people, making decent money, doing something enjoyable .. QA Engineer or Security.
2. Lack of certifications are impacting my job prospects so we can declare certifications a lack.



What We Loathed

1. Six months into 2026 and there have already been 240k layoffs. More on the way.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday May 22, 2026 - “Manifesting a Soggy Dollar” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Kicking off another great week to cherish and be grateful. The idea of starting a business is taking root. If not a Tiki Bar, Testing-as-a-service / Freelance. Anything to escape the idea of depending on an employer for a living. It's gross.

The theme of manifesting "Soggy Dollar" at BVI stems from my computer's wallpaper. But more importantly, it's about manifesting succcess, prosperity, financial stability, and both personal and professional growth.

MONDAY

Affirmation: YOU ARE NOT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU. YOU ARE WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO BE - JIM ROHN

The grind continues. Got up early, welcomed the day, crushed at the gym, and celebrated wins.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: STAY FAITHFUL

Quiet day. The job I wanted didn't want me. Dedicated the day to closing out old jobs and finishing lingering work.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: LIFE DOESNT BREAK PEOPLE. WEAK THINKING DOES! - JIM ROHN

Find comfort in doing the hard things. If you fail, ask:

• What did this teach me?
• Where did I struggle?
• What can I do better?

THURSDAY

Affirmation: NO DAYS OFF!!

Show up > Give it 100% > Get it Done! > Celebrate the Win.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: Nonce

Another blesssed week. Still no job to speak of, but learning a lot and making new connections.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Another brilliant week with good health and wellbeing.
2. Grateful to have the chance to learn new things and grow as a person.
3. Grateful for another solid workout. Feeling the progress .. t-shirts feel tighter!

What We Loved

1. As always ... happiness is a full fridge, warm meal, a comfy bed, and harmony in the home.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Google Project Management [Status: TO DO!!] Thinking about this a lot.
2. INNER WORK [Status: TO DO!!] Rollover from last week. I keep sleeping on this.

3. ---

   IN PROGRESS

4. AI/LLM Pen Testing - Wraith.sh [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Completed the Intro. Module. Need to start on the prompt injection vuln module (M1)
5. Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] Started on Part-III
6. Writing - "Husb" [Status: IN PROGRESS!!] I finished the scene where Diamondback was shot down and about to be tortured; need to expand on it a litt more.

---

DONE

7. WebApp Pen Test - MyFitnessPal [Status: DONE!] Since I don't know when I will get to the mobile apps, I figured to finish the web app pt report and write a follow up a.s.a.p.
8. [QA DAY] Demoblaze on mobile device w. Playwright [Status: DONE!!]
9. [QA DAY] Appium refresher w. Python [Status: DONE!] 4hr battle with android bringing the environment up to current; iOS is failing to launch at the moment.

What We Longed For

1. Employment .. of any kind. Preferably in

What We Loathed

1. The layoffs are not even at the end of the begininning. It's getting really bad in 2026. I'm beginning to question my career choices.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday May 15, 2026 - “Keeping The Faith & Winning The Race” Ed.

Highlights for the week

Not a lot of wins. The unemployment stats are lies. The job search process is fundamentally broken. When applicants do apply, there are AI pre-screeners that effectively knock out 90% of applicants before a human has even had the chance to look at it. When they do, another set of biases are employed to whittle down the number of candidates to single digits. Then, the games really begin. I have to believe countries on the other side of the globe are getting first dibs on all the postings. By the time I get to it, 200 applicants will have already beaten me to the punch. And if the screening process is to accept the first 50, I'm cooked!

I asked Google Gemini the following: To date, what has been the total number of tech layoffs? And given the number of people going through long-term unemployment, along with those who have given up, what is the most accurate figure that truly represents the current job market?. It answered with a verbose posting, but the short-version: The U-6 Unemployment Rate: 8.2% ... yay!

Looming is the threat of a Hanta Virus outbreak. Will we go on lockdown? Probably not. But that was the same circumstance in November of 2019, before we were forced in.

MONDAY

Affirmation: SUCCESS IS NOT ABOUT MEETING SOMEONE ELSE’S EXPECTATIONS. IT’S ABOUT LIVING UP TO YOURS

I hate when wife and I yell at each other. Worse still, I hate letting myself get to the point where I'm yelling. I'm just tired of being beaten up over and over for the same issues of the past.

Yes! I've stumbled and made a lot of mistakes but I am NOT a loser. I am just in a weird quandry. I have to heal from the hurts and retrain the brain for success. Work in progress for sure!

Sidebar: Didn't make much progress with Android .. the application used in the module is failing. Will probably have to go through the lessons as a spectator.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: WHEN LIFE CAN NO LONGER THREATEN YOU WITH DEATH, WHAT ELSE IS THERE?

Don't let fear keep you from your potential. Don't let failure compound to the point you sabotage your dreams and relationships. Move anyway! Take the risk! Apply for the job! Ask her out!

It pays to be patient. Took a second look at the module and had missed something I didn't see yesterday. After slowing the video down several times, I caught what I was doing wrong and made the adjustment.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: A SAFE MAN IS GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES, BUT ...

He is going to take accountability for his actions. What makes him safe is his willingness and commitment to repair and grow when challenged to be the best man he can be.

Big wins today as we learned more about android pen testing using Frida-Trace to understand how to hack button interactions on a native app.

More wins as teaching my son Spanish is progressing at a good pace.

Had a tremendous heart-to-heart with him at the gym. We dropped the ball on Mother's Day, but finances aren't there to have done more. We have got to fix this!!

The Pen Test for MFP has taken a back seat for the android learning. TBH, the website was ok, but it's the app that has me intrigued. Not a total waste, but I've let the report fall behind intended schedule. FML!!

THURSDAY

Affirmation: MAKE IT OK TO FAIL!

Anything worth doing is worth doing right, as we have been taught. But if you were never taugjt, keep doing it until you get it right. (Les Brown)

FRIDAY

Affirmation: WHERE YOUR TREASURE IS, THERE WILL YOUR HEART BE ALSO - [LUKE 12:34

And what a perfect way to close out the week.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Another wonderful week
2. Having the opportunity to see my mother on Mother's Day.
3. Enjoying the small wins, starting with sleeping well, getting up ahead of schedule, and crushing it.
4. Bonding with my son has been awesome.
5. Doing the inner work, even a little bit at a time, and healing the trauma. The inner dialog has been all positive.

What We Loved

1. Spending time with Mom, even for a little bit.
2. Hitting my goals for the week.
3. Feeling more at peace spiritually and mentally.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Google Project Management [Status: TO DO!!] Thinking about this a lot.
2. AI Pen Testing [Status: TO DO!!] I created the account for https://wraith.sh/academy and it looks amazing!!
3. INNER WORK [Status: TO DO!!] Rollover from last week.
4. Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: TO DO!!] Rollover from last week.
5. Android Pen Test - MFP [Status: TO DO!!] Rollover from last week ... momentum was derailed.

---

IN PROGRESS

6. HexTree Android PT - Dynamic Intstrumentation [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Wrote scripts to call functions and record actions (trace).

---

DONE

7. Playwright CLI [Status: DONE!] Refactored my test framework and added chaos testing for web and APIs. +500 tests in 1 week.

What We Longed For

1. At this point, a consulting job, preferably in pen testing. Will accept QA Engineerign for the right salary.

What We Loathed

1. The Job Market in 2026. Beginning to think I may have made the wrong career choice.

Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday May 8, 2026 - "The 4th Is With Us .. Always" Ed.

Highlights for the week

A great quote from Andy Stumph, former Navy Seal and author of "Drown Proof", "WHAT YOU ALLOW IN YOUR PRESENCE IS YOUR STANDARD"

MONDAY

Affirmation: PATIENCE, PERSISTENCE, AND POSITIVITY

Avoiding discomfort doesn't protect you; it hollows you out. As I keep hearing from so many motivational speakers, you need to go outside of your comfort zone. The land of familiarity belongs to the dead.

The 4th is here and gave myself a little chance to nerd out with "Maul: Shadow Lord" and holy jeebus was it a great episode.

Spent the better part of the day on continued learning for reverse engineering android apps. It's really about knowing how to read the code and where to look for the treasure. Brilliant program!!

TUESDAY

Affirmation: YOU HAVE COME BACK POWER

Another great quote I hear often, "a setback is a setup for a comeback." Lord knows I need this. The family needs me to prosper.

Nothing got done today on account of personal priorities. We had Cinco De Mayo to attend to, so pen test and HexTree are 1 day behind.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: COMMIT TO THE HOPE OF TOMORROW, NOT THE MISTAKES OF THE PAST

Don't wallow in yesterday's bad .. live hopeful and joyous for tomorrow. That's where the promise of your best self lives. So don't carry old baggage into new beginnings. Learn, don't repeat, and keep moving. Love this!

Spent the better part of the day with the Android modules. Some are pretty challenging. The videos move fast, but the learning is enjoyable.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: IN LIFE, YOU DONT GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU GET WHAT YOU ARE

Ooof .. this one hits hard. Something I've been meaning to correct for the past 25 years is the idea of who I should be. But as I learned the previous day, dwelling on the mistakes is what's kept me down all these years; repeating the same patterns and never learning. So the larger question is, who will I become, and what will be the outcome?

FRIDAY

Affirmation: VIEW YOURSELF AS THE ARCHITECT OF YOUR LIFE

A perfect plan executed poorly is going to deliver garbage .. words to live by as I close out the week. Hit a lot of my goals ... yay!!

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful that I have another week of good health and good vibes.
2. Grateful to have the medical insurance that covered my blood work. The results came back favorable.
3. Grateful to be closer to my weight loss goal. Turns out the muscles gained might be adding weight, which is why I've not come close to my goal.
4. Grateful to be with a wonderful family.

What We Loved

1. Hitting my goals, especially with learning more about android reverse engineering.
2. Learning AI + QA. The skill to automate using AI reduced overall setup time from weeks down to hours.

What We Learned

TO DO

1. Google Project Management [Status: TO DO!!] Thinking about this a lot.
2. INNER WORK [Status: TO DO!!] Adding this entry to the list for future use.
3. Finish reading "Zorro" [Status: TO DO!!] Maybe this weekend we'll finish the section I'm on ... maybe
4. AI Pen Testing [Status: TO DO!!] Referred to an interesting framework to playwith ... courtesy of a connection on Linked In.
5. Android Pen Test - MFP [Status: TO DO!!] Need to find a AVD compatible with the app that can be rooted.

---

IN PROGRESS

6. Android PT (Hextree) App Module: Reverse Engineering 2 [Status: Done!] Learned how to read through the code with jadx and add a custom class.
7. "Husb" - Chapter "Time for Monsters, Pt. 1" - [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Working through a small section about Husb's wife and son in the natural. Six and Jessica need to find Diamondback.

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DONE

8. Web Pen Test - MFP [Status: DONE!] Report is late. Acceptable due to delay in installing app in emulator.
9. QA DAY: [Status: DONE!] Learned how to use Playwright CLI to set up a fully fleshed out test harness. After the refactor, total was 4 hours.
10. Android PT (Hextree) App Module: Advanced Reverse Engineering [Status: DONE!] Was able to complete some labs (get flags), but others were not working to spec.

What We Longed For

1. A great job, working on cool things, with amazing people, for good pay and benefits. In other words, something like Google Mandiant Security Consultant.

What We Loathed. The layoffs are not stopping anytime soon.

1. 2026 Job Market
2. Late rejections for jobs I don't remember applying to.