Highlights for the week
Another week has come and gone. The gray skies of the past month have really taken a toll on my state of mind. Coupled with the lack of employment, money all but gone, and not being able to make any inroads on improving the situation is getting to me. I wanted to make the most of Valentine's and failed miserably.
My son's birthday is around the corner and I just don't know where the money is going to come from. We owe it to him to make the most of the moment. We don't have the funds for that trip to Universal in Orlando. That spur-of-the-moment cruise was out of the question. Now I have to rely on his income to pay next month's bills.
UNACCEPTABLE!!
I know for things to change, I have to change. This whole thing has got to get better. I'm working on me .. but this is a karmic joke. The question that keeps nagging me is what is my purpose?! I've literally failed at most things that felt right. At 50, what's next. What is my "why!"
- And more people are getting laid off for "AI research and development/investment." The truth is much worse.
- Tech was saturated with talent, most of whom are mid-level.
- Underperformers are getting the ax.
- Overachievers are expensive, and they're getting the ax.
- New hires never get their chance.
- Employment opportunities are getting offshored.
What is even the point anymore. The mantra now is for employees to deliver value!! .. but for whom?
In other news, It is the year of the FIRE HORSE (February 17, 2026, to February 5, 2027)
In Chinese Culture, the Horse symbolizes strength, freedom, and passion. It represents a year full of energy and vitality, encouraging individuals to pursue their dreams and embrace challenges. (src. https://www.eastchinatrip.com/chinese-culture/chinese-zodiac/year-of-the-horse/) It is perfect that this should occur on my son's birthday as he does tend to be optimistic and action-oriented. The goal: pursue personal ambitions, and embark on new ventures.
Also, the lunar eclipse happening happening March 3rd
What We’re Grateful For
It's all about VALUE .. what is your value to the company, to your family, to yourself.
- Grateful to have another day that I get to get up and pursue my passions .. whatever they may be.
- Grateful to have a warm home, food, clothing, and all the things that come with that.
- Grateful that God isn't through with me yet!
What We Loved
- Attended the NYITS Job Fair. Overall, it was underwhelming. I did manage to secure 2 possible leads, one concerning AI .. not holding my breath.
What We Learned
- Optimized my javascript "selector" script .. runs clean, no dupes, pulls the elements from the page, and what-not
- New pen test is going somewhat ok. Been a bit mopey and not feeling this engagement.
- Reading "Zorro" finally.
- Writing .. grr .. been on hiatus with that.
- LLM Security - finally started, but the models to get the flag aren't working. Will reach out to the developer if it continues.
What We Longed For
- At this point, anything with an income and benefits.
- I have expanded my search to include customer service and food service jobs. Pen Testing is still the dream, with QA roles being the consolation.
- Mentorship cadence. At the moment, Mentees have all gone quiet. Shame!!
What We Loathed
- In its entirety, the Job Market is a joke. Old Jobs I've applied to are reemerging.
- New jobs feel hollow, or looking for a specific unicorn.
- Zero interactions to applications sent. A few rejections, though!! Odds are that 99% of all applicants will not succeed.
- re-applied to Code & Theory. Downgraded title, lesser pay, but you know times are bad when this is what I'm resorting to. Worse, I'm applying to food service places too. FML!!
- Sleep has been trash. Probably the subconscious worry I've buried deep taking hold on my physical wellbeing.
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