Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday March 20, 2026 - "Eating Humble P.I.E" Ed

Highlights for the week - Something completely different

This week was a mixed bag of lows and highs. Some wins, some not. Splitting this out by the day and will probably keep to this format.

MONDAY

Affirmation: SET YOUR STANDARD

Something I need to work on is building out a new standard. Be disciplined not just at the gym, but in everything else as well. Work in progress!!

Friend reached out to me about a few things and I learned about Mentorship and the P.I.E model.

TUESDAY

Affirmation: WHERE THE MIND GOES, ENERGY FLOWS

Woke up feeling weird; had a good night's sleep up to a point. 3am and I was in and out of my head. Probably something to do with my conversation on Monday, with my friend.

Also, what is even the point of job hunting when the jobs are either unresponsive, or rejecting.

I feel so broken .. useless .. worthless. I understand this is not who I am going to be, but man is it tough these days keeping positive.

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: SET A DAILY INTENTION

Thank you, Napoleon Hill for the wise words. I love waking up and having a single intention to focus on. "To day I will focus on [goal] because it is aligned with who I want to become"

THURSDAY

Affirmation: FOCUS NOT ON WHO YOU WERE, BUT ON WHO YOU WANT TO BECOME!!

Only in this timeline can you be an absolute criminal and keep your job. You show up, you do the right thing, the right way, and still .. not enough when layoffs need to happen, and the investment is in AI.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: THAT WHICH GETS IN THE WAY BECOMES THE WAY

QA Day and test automation was my side quest when I got blocked from Hacking. Resilience .. baby!! When one door closes, another one opens.

Also, acquired the credentials I needed to get unblocked from pen testing the new program. Monday ---> Let's GO!!

TIL - perfect resumes score high on a fraud detection meter, and boring resumes never get looked at. WTF!!

House cleaning = soul cleaning; slept great, feel much lighter; achy from a week's gym effort.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful to have friends that reach out consistently. I should do better about reciprocating and keeping my network "fresh".
2. Grateful that God talks to me through YouTube .. been getting my pep talks in the morning while I work out.
3. Grateful that I get to be up and around, physically and spiritually.

What We Loved

Had a long-time friend check in with me. After a lengthy discussion of all things, the subject of my employment history came up and when asked about it, I felt "embarrassed." Yes, my history sucks. Yes, I am ashamed. And yes, I owe the outcome of what happened to my ineptitude; a failure to eliminate old patterns and replace them with new ones. It felt like I was looking at an embarrassing photo and not liking what I saw. I suppose that's a good thing. It means the old me is dying. Like who was I even?

1. Was I the kid who never had a proper father or father-figure? YES! All examples of a role models and mentors have disappeared.
2. Was I the teen who felt called out by his step-mother as a fraud; a phony? YES! Still working on who I really am.
3. Was I the young adult who was blamed for things outside of his purview, then fired as a result? YES! The wound is healed, but the memory remains.
4. Was I the dude who fell in love, only set aside (like my father had done)? YES! But maybe I wasn't ready for her, despite how much I wanted her.
5. Was I the angry, bitter man who would work odd jobs, never hold a steady employ, and not give any attention to females? YES!
6. Was I the man who finds a good woman and just makes her pay for all his bad choices? YES!
7. Was I the guy who was an absolute spaz with his child? His household things? YES!
8. Was I the old person who couldn't hold a steady job, and f**s up the one job he loved? Eventually to become the dipshit broke, miserable, in failing marriage, and a poor example for his son. YES!

Truth is, I need to focus, not on who I was, but on who I want to become ... 1 percent better, every day.

What We Learned

1. Pentest for Zendesk [Blocked!] I pivoted to a new program: Fireblocks, a crypto wallet app
2. Finished HackTheBox "Cap" - time ran out and never could finish getting the root flag
3. AI Training - Claude [Status: DONE!] The best features of Claude (Claude Code) requires a paid subscription.
4. QA DAY: [Status: BACKLOGGED!] - Updated APPIUM to 3.0.; Used Claude to generate QA Test Strategy and Test Cases for a new website. Test Automation [IN PROGRESS!]
5. Writing: "Husb..." New Section - Septimal Convergence [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Completed outline. Will schedule this for the weekend.
6. Mentor/Mentee w. IMANI [Status: PAUSED!] .. still no word on when we'll resume
7. Learned about P.I.E as it relates to Mentor/Mentee and work performance evaluation. This was eye opening!!
• PERFORMANCE - 10% .. are you doing your job well (accomplishments)
• INTEGRITY - 30% .. what do people think of you (reputation)
• EXPOSURE - 60% .. who knows you and your work (relationships with mgr, sr. mgr, CEO)

The Exposure is about who knows you and what they know about you. Does your boss'boss know your name? Does the leadership team understand your value? To move up, you have to transition from focusing purely on tasks to focusing on relationships and reputation.

... and this right here is where I failed at Secure Ideas. Obviously, the technical work need improvement. But it was those last two reports and how I looked to Kevin that sealed it. And it wasn't just the reports (those didn't help). It was missing the assignment on the blog posts. It was not getting it right with Burp Suite. It was not doing enough to promote my self. The perfect shit PIE.

What We Longed For

1. A great job, doing cool things, with amazing people, for great pay and benefits!!

What We Loathed

1. 2026 Job Market ... nuff said!