Security Testing Journal Entry | w/e Friday April 3, 2026 - "Easter Sunday" Ed.

Highlights for the week

Another week in the bag and it was a mix of getting some goals accomplished while still being blocked in other areas. Sleep quality has been trash lately. I go to bed fine, but wake up between 3am and 4am, then never really feel 100% rested at 6am. Yet the workouts have been good. Can't say my performance has been affected.

MONDAY

Affirmation: CELEBRATING THE WINS!!

statement

TUESDAY

Affirmation: WORK ON BEING PATIENT, PERSISTENT, AND POSITIVE

• Woke up at 3am .. felt fine, but crashing. My mood has been supremely low. Really need to get the testosterone checked.
• Went shopping but lost the list; reliability quotient minus 1.
• Have to accept mother's money; reliability quotient minue 4.

Wife and child see me as the low p.o.s .. yet contribute nothing but attitude; reliability quotient slipping down further. They have a right to be upset .. and this is all on me. UNEMPLOYMENT F**NG SUCKS WHEN YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE!!

WEDNESDAY

Affirmation: REFLECTION IS REDEMPTION

Love this quote. It hits really hard. Found this in an article about Yoda, jedi grandmaster who, despite his wisdom, failed a bunch.

It was a good day getting to try and unblock myself from the one project. Did not have much time to start the new project.

• A good win for home priorities: got to save money paying for lots of food; paid the bills on time.
• The cash advance I took out the other day came in super-handy. As did Mom's check.
• New workout happening next week. Back to the Push/Pull/Legs.
• Found a really good job ad working on a travel app. It's a "junior" role, but the pay is decent and the work seems chill. It's in NYC. 2 peole from Unqork are there.
• I wanted to start on Trello, but my Fireblocks support ticket required attention.
• Paused on Claude learning for the day.

THURSDAY

Affirmation: UNLESS YOU CHANGE WHO YOU ARE, YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE WHAT YOU GOT !!

Another gem from Jim Rohn and the reason why I'm a work in progress. I have 20 years of partnership to make up for, and a lifetime of living to redeem.

Still working through finding my purpose, but the itch to get back into writing is growing. I'm paying more attention now to how good writers get it done.

Applied to a super-cool job working for a travel site that speaks to my love of travelling. Fingers-crossed. Decent pay and I know the Head of QA.

FRIDAY

Affirmation: MEASURE YOURSELF AGAINST YOU OLD SELF, NOT ANYONE ELSE

Love this a lot. I've been feeling like crap, but that's probably because the enemy wants me at a low vibration. Not gonna happen. My old self made a lot of mistakes that my current self is paying for. While I did love my time at Secure Ideas, it definitely had a lot to be desired. I should have done better, but I also should have had the proper mentoring to keep me from going off the rails and meeting my objectives. One thing is for sure, I'm a lot smarter for failing like I did.

I keep looking at all the "Staff ..", "Senior ..", and "Lead .." jobs for QA and keep thinking to myself that QA was never the goal of my life. What that true purpose is still eludes me, but I know I don't want to reach the end of my life having squandered my talents.

What We’re Grateful For

1. Grateful to have a mom, but holy hell is that woman stubborn. Jammed money down my throat that I had to swallow my pride and take.
2. Grateful for Youtube and the positive videos I keep getting piped into my feed every morning. It's been therapeutic.
3. Grateful to have a full fridge, happy home, and positive vibes.

What We Loved

1. Because it is holy week, getting to watch "Jesus of Nazareth" always makes my soul happy. The message is simple: Hope & Faith will carry you far.

What We Learned

1. Pentest for Zendesk [Status: STILL BlOCKED!] I've since moved on to Trello [Status: IN PROGRESS!]
2. Claude + MCP [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Following the tutorial is great, but I hit a limit. Seems like a paid subscription is required.
3. QA DAY: [Status: IN PROGRESS!] Didn't really make much automation progress; I did however, build out a Root Cause Analysis sheet and Dashboard .. so that counts!
4. Writing: "Husb..." [Status: IN PROGRESS!! ] Started on the chapter titled "Bedlam" .. need to really work on capturing the essence of war.
6. Writing: A new blog - the offspring of several posts on Reddit regarding bug bounty submissions.

What We Longed For

1. Mandiant. Going to keep this as a vision of my ideal job with great people, doing cool sh**, for great pay, at a decent location.

What We Loathed

1. Having to ask mom for money .. at 50yrs old. FFS! I MUST DO BETTER
2. 2026 Job Market .. the worst!!